I promise it started as just a little bit of Halloween fun. But yes, I went to Arendal Prison in Arendal, Norway. I did my time in cell 13 which is a nine square meter room with a bed, desk, toilet, and sink. After the door was closed behind me and I was looking out that small window in the door, it really sank in...this was going to be a stellar fucking night! The prison in Arendal was fully operational until 2020 when another prison was built in a nearby community. Since then, it has been renovated and now functions as a hotel. The vision for the prison goes beyond simply serving as a hotel, and there are hints of that in place already. As for the prison hotel, they kept the prison hardware and the prison areas. As you walk through you can see heavy iron bar doors, metal mesh window coverings, and of course, the cell doors. The rule of the hotel is that if a door opens, you have access. You are free to explore and wander. There are tours available and opportunities for groups to do team building with breakout games. My first thought was how wonderful of an experience it would be for students! Do yourself a favor and visit the website or better yet, visit the actual hotel. I will definitely be doing time again! Just a side note, I find it ironic that the 420 highway leads to the prison. The Norwegian prison system is based in rehabilitation, and they state as much on the 'about page' of the Norwegian Correctional Service web page. The task of the Directorate of Norwegian Correctional Service is to ensure a proper execution of remand and prison sentences, with due regard to the security of all citizens and attempts to prevent recidivism by enabling the offenders, through their own initiatives, to change their criminal behaviour. The maximum sentence one can receive is 21 years, however there are new regulations in place that allow up to 30 years for crimes such as genocide or war crimes. The biggest difference between Norway and the states is the purpose of prison. In Norway, while it is still a punitive measure, the system supports personal growth and a path to change for prisoners. This focus on rehabilitation plays a key role in how the Arendal prison functions now. Let's meet Audun. Audun is your typical Norwegian with his blunt honesty and attitude of, 'I am human, therefore I will fail.' His gregarious demeanor immediately captures your attention, and boy howdy, does he have stories to tell. Let's just say, he has had a more unique journey to get where he is now than the next guy. When I listened to him speak with such passion, I couldn't help but be drawn into asking more questions, wanting to monopolize his time, and supporting his rallying cry for more education and services for young people. If you want to learn more about Audun's journey, he has been featured on a Norwegian series on Discovery+ called 'Insider' (S5E3 and S7E5). It is well worth the watch. Audun started his journey at this prison in cell 13 too, only he didn't get to check out after just an overnight. Here is where the rehabilitation mindset is so important. In the eyes of Norwegian society, he fucked up, he paid his penance, and everything is square. Not only that, he gets to use his experience in his current job...MANAGING THE HOTEL! Can you think of a better person to bring people into this setting? Not only is he able to bring the experience alive for each guest, he opens himself and shares memories and details that make the stay so much more intimate. And his vision for how this hotel could ultimately function...chef's kiss! I could go on, but of course, you know how I am about stories that are not mine to tell. Go stay at the hotel. I actually wonder if calling it a hotel is the right word, because the place is truly shaping up to be the community center that the owner envisions. Aside from the hotel, there is a catering service, a dojo, and even a counseling center for teens and young adults. Oddly enough, another Audun enters the picture...or rather chair...here. To keep them separate, we could call this one, Hulk Audun...nah, he's way more lovable than that. Audun has led an interesting life, including a long stint in Arizona, and he is just one of those people that can strike up a conversation with anyone. He reminds me a lot of my grandfather, and, no, not in an old man way. He has a wise soul, a sharp mind, and a big heart. You immediately feel important and heard when you talk to him. His time in the states was a bonus for me because we were able to talk about when BAH was stationed in Arizona. Of course, he mentioned he owned a motorcycle, so he and NBF had an instant link too. As I said, he can connect with anyone. He ended up giving us a tour of his office at the hotel as well. Den Røde Stolen (the red chair) is just that, but then, so much more. This is a place to sit and lay down the load, a place to find solace, and a place of nonjudgmental, whole-hearted support. Let me tell you another thing I have noticed about Norwegians, when they make up their mind to do something...it's happening. So when Audun decided to follow his passion to support the youth in his community, he didn't let a little thing like needing four years of university training stand in his way. In 2019, he began that education, and now when you go upstairs in the prison, there is an office with a red chair that is home to his counseling service. The service is free for those aged 12 to 24, and when I heard his 'why', I was instantly taken back to my own childhood and that of some of my toughest students. There are some struggles that don't know cultural boundaries....drug use, bullying, neglect, and abuse. I will simply say, he has really rolled up his sleeves and waded in. He is the kind of adult I needed when I was young. I don't say this lightly because I was a goddamn wreck. Anyone can provide a shoulder to lean on and a compassionate ear, The quality Audun has that sets him apart is a true passion to balance that care with a healthy push to challenge people to see better in themselves and be better versions of themselves. Obviously, I didn't learn all of this from his tour. I had a chance to catch up with Audun the next morning at the hotel. I couldn't help but be bothered by one small detail, though. That Red Chair, that passion, is something he does after he works another full time job, but when he introduced his office he said something about his real job, referencing the job he has where he makes money. That didn't sit right, and I told him as much. His real work is how he is impacting the lives of each person that sits in his chair. That is the necessary, messy...hard work. My intent was to thank him and remind him that what he does is invaluable, but I later heard I actually gave him something to chew on. That makes my heart smile. I sincerely wish I had taken a photo of that chair to share with you. But Nellie, why did you go to prison in the first place? Simple, I was invited to a birthday party. But, of course, nothing is ever that simple. This was a birthday for one of the people I admire most here in Norway. Not only that, this one was an overnight in the prison, had a Halloween theme, and would be a chance for NBF to meet some of my work colleagues. Buckle up, readers. I met the birthday gal the first year I worked at CIS Sarpsborg. Immeeeediately, I knew I needed to get to know her better. She was professional, an absolutely invested educator, super fucking organized (even if I dreaded the long ass weekly emails she sent, they kept me perfectly on track), and just an authentic human. She was also super. fucking. private. Now, the thing is, she took genuine interest in everyone, and I always felt like she cared about me as an educator in her charge and a person. However, there was an unmistakable boundary between her private life and her professional life. I knew I was on the professional side of her life, but it didn't feel like the distance it does with some people who set that boundary. Hard to explain unless you know her. I think it is obvious in my writing that I moved over the boundary and that she still values privacy, so I tread carefully as I craft this post about the birthday party that brought us all together. NBF and I didn't arrive in time for the prison tour, but we did arrive in time for a tour of the city. Well, at least I took a tour, when NBF heard beer, we went our separate ways. Arendal is a gorgeous coastal village. In the summer, it is bustling and busy as Norwegians flock to the sea, but by late October, it was peaceful. The view from the highest point is breathtaking as well. To begin, I am not sure a blog is big enough to contain the day. I know people that were there will read it and think, how could you not tell this or that, and I truly wish I could tell all the stories because the smiles were continuous and the laughter strained cheek and gut muscles in all of us. The deep belly laughs and smiles that reach your ears. The long overdue beer to unwind. All of it. You know the type of camaraderie that happens when you get together with those who truly understand and the laughter is long overdue? That was this get together in a nutshell. I am giggling to myself thinking about some of the shenanigans. At one point, I was walking along with BF (not NBF), and I saw an art gallery. I stopped to stare because surely I wasn't seeing correctly, but no, those were penises. Sigh, these Norwegians and their penis art. Now to be fair, I once saw a swan floating in a river in central Oslo with a body shaped like a ballsack and a penis for a neck and head, and anyone who has been to the Oslo central station KNOWS. So, don't be judgy. As I zoomed in, I saw it was actually just...umbrellas. "Oh, my god, it's UMBRELLAS!" BF says, "I SAW IT TOO!! It isn't just you!!" Grown women giggling, it's powerful in its release, and I am blessed to have this type of woman in my life! Speaking of shenanigans, I really want to share the joke I made about eloping and destination weddings, but just know it got my name squealed so loudly that half the cafe looked at me. That will be a story for another blog someday. Even though we spent the afternoon touring the city and having a drink at a cafe afterward, the party really got started with a tapas dinner at a quaint little place called Cafe Victor. Before dinner began though, the birthday gal (BG) had a challenge to complete. Not all of us knew each other, so that meant we really didn't know the connection between the guests. BG stood for a speech that brought me to tears more than once. The incredible honor of being present while she peeled away layers of her life for all to see...to witness that strength of character and risk taking in action...just another reason to admire her honestly. There were close friends, colleagues of hers from other countries, colleagues from jobs in Norway, all in all a diverse collection of people representing decades of her life. She introduced each of us with such eloquence and there was no doubt that this list was thoroughly thought out. When she introduced me, she called me a child whisperer. She's not so secretly terrified of a pack of first graders, but to be fair, they will eat you if they smell fear. She talked about how i just have a way with the littles. The feeling of having someone you admire professionally speak about you in such a positive way to others is quite a confidence booster. What she held back in my introduction was just as powerful to me because she is a person that knows A LOT. For many people, it would have been easy to overshare inadvertently, but she didn't and doesn't. See, she values others' privacy as much as her own. When we first met, I had just arrived in Norway, and she was actually worried about me because of my demeanor. When we did more intimate introductions, I was frank and told everyone that I have social anxiety and that I will relax and be fun...eventually. She admitted to me (much) later that this was relieving to a degree but made her more curious to know me. In that introduction, I also mentioned I have two adult children. When BG came to me after introductions were over, she said, "To be honest, I didn't hear anything after you said you had two ADULT children. Can we start your introduction over?" It was a great way to break the ice and do a personal check in without throwing me into worry. That is classic BG. She also introduced NBF as someone who came into her life as a shock because, "One day Nellie just came to work and said, 'I am going on a nine day motorcycle tour of Norway.' I never would have guessed that about her." But she said he was brought into her life because of the love and happiness he brought into mine. Dinner was a chance to catch up with old friends and get better acquainted with new ones. NBF was elated to finally get to put names to faces. The amount of times I heard, "Oh, I've heard your name a lot." Of course, there was one introduction where the name wasn't heard. When I worked at CIS Sarpsborg, I would travel to Jaren on the weekends to see NBF. So, Conor shakes NBF's hand heartily and says, "You must be Jørn." Mind you, I hear about this later when Conor mentions he never got a chance to clear up something with NBF. "You know every weekend when you said you were going to Jaren? I thought you were saying Jørn. I have a friend named Jørn and I can't say his name quite right. So that is what I thought you were saying. But I never got the chance to tell Tony why I called him Jørn." Cue the laughter...of course you didn't. Awkward introductions and all, NBF was having the time of his life exploring this part of my life. For as much as he enjoyed, he was equally disappointed that soon everyone would be in costume and unrecognizeable again! As for me, I had more fun watching others interact than interacting myself. What a powerful group of people. The experiences, the education, the friendships, I took a moment to myself to sit outside and look out over the bay soaking it in. The Halloween/Birthday party was so much more than I could have imagined after struggling to find a costume. Halloween just isn't quite as big of a deal in Norway. Witnessed by the birthday cake that did not say Happy Birthday or Happy Halloween...simply Halloween. But still, we went. all. in. I am sure most of the guests felt as I did. If BG was going to give us this opportunity, we weren't going to waste it. You see, BG moved this year, so she isn't geographically as close to all of us as before. This means she will have to be intentional about staying connected, and she has taken that mission seriously. I can't help but be proud of her, but again...not my story. But girl, you go! Before the party, I think I was one of the 3 people in the world that hadn't watched Squid Games. A chance encounter in the hallway changed that. We walked by someone standing in the hall patiently. I walked on by thinking if this was going to be a haunted house where I had to walk past him, you can count me out. I am not all about that shit. When I was about nine, I got grabbed while going through a haunted house while another guy revved a chainsaw. I pissed my pants and had to be carried out by my dad. I can laugh now, but holy shit that was bad. The event room in the prison hotel was decorated perfectly for Halloween with skeletons, skulls, spooky lighting, and a smoke machine...even if Norwegians were trying to usher in Christmas with their stars. The music was supplied by BG so it was another peek into her world that some of us had never experienced. Everyone was so shocked at costumes and effort, that we took a good ten minutes worth of photos in various groups. There was so much dancing that shoes came off. We even got talked into a couple of group dances. Lord I hope those videos never come to light. Some people are born with rhythm in their bodies, BG, and some of us, the grace of newborn giraffes. It's me. I am the newborn giraffe. The smiles on BG's face, well everyone's faces, told the whole story. I think the night was even better than she had hoped to imagine. There were a few people that couldn't attend due to last minute life happening, so we will indeed have to do this again. Who knows, maybe this costume party becomes an annual event. There was even talk of not waiting that long for another get together which just makes my smile reach my soul. One thing I can tell you about nearly all of these people is that they push their full selves into work and take far too little time to enjoy fellowship and life. We could all be better about making time for this happen in our lives more often. At one point NBF disappeared, and when I went to check on him, I knew it was time for our adventure to wind down. After all, we were celebrating his birthday the next day by traveling to the furthest southern point in Norway. Which of course is a whole other post. Happy (very late) Halloween.
1 Comment
Ritu
12/11/2022 03:29:13 am
Wow! Nellie, you have a way with words. I don’t know how you write in the ways you do, but it’s very impressive to read.👏👏
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Nellie HillJust a woman leaping outside her comfort zone and telling the tale. Archives
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