I have been telling myself everyday for about three weeks that I need to post in my blog. There is a never ending list of things I could be writing about. After all, I have been living with NBF for a little over a month now. We've been on another magnificent motorcycle tour of Norway. School is around the corner, and I am in a new school and position. I am getting my Norwegian driver's license and have dipped my toes into car shopping. Somehow, though, it feels easier to sit in all the feelings than to share in here. For some time I have been experiencing bouts of writers block. I know a portion of it has to do with the tremendous amount of stress I faced in the first six months of the year, but I also know there is some hesitance to write because a lot of my personal growth and reflection revolves around my relationship with NBF. There is a huge difference between posting Conversations with NBF on Facebook and pouring the details of our relationship into my blog. It isn't that I am sneaking around and making surprise posts. We have discussed his inclusion in my blog, and he has said he trusts me and what I would choose to share. That is a tremendous amount of trust that was given, so I do want to be careful with how I handle that. But here we are, and in I go to share and examine and hopefully entertain along the way. Let's start with the license, shall we? Like every process in Norway...it is a p r o c e s s. Since COVID delayed everything, I am going through a driving school and taking a couple of classes. I also had to take a theoretical (written) exam and I will need to take a driving exam. I am proud to say I only missed 2 of 45 on the theory test. And I blame NBF for the country roads question I missed. I was explaining to him I kept missing the same type of questions because of the difference between country road in Kansas meaning essentially rural dirt roads and country road in Norway meaning belonging to the country like a US highway. Anyway, the terminology threw me off and his supportive response was to sing....COUNTRY ROOOOADS, take me hoooome. FFS! Cue me taking the test and what should pop up but a country roads question and all I can think is him singing to me. Dammit, NBF! I really thought I could see myself never owning a car again, however, in this part of Norway it is much tougher to be without a car. In order to commute to work without a car, I would need to take the 5:15 train and go south to Oslo and then back north to Jessheim, arriving at 7:30 at a station that is about a 35 minute walk from work. That just is not a reasonable amount of time everyday getting to work. Not to mention I would have to reverse the process to get back home. This week especially, I am not enjoying being without a car. I need to run errands to get prepared for work, and I am simply not able to walk to all the places I need to go, so I have to rely on NBF to haul me around town. I guess I could pay a taxi, but I am not sure I could withstand the NBF disapproval for that choice. Calling his beloved svele a pancake is about as far as I am pushing my luck this month. He never complains or says no, but I can't help feeling a bit...sigh...dependent and uncomfortable knowing I have to ask him. He sees it as an adventure and another chance to spend time together. He is even getting better at accepting my thank yous. The first time I thanked him for taking me to work, he just kind of stared and said, "Why wouldn't I take you? I don't think I would make anyone take that train ride, Nellie." And the thing is, I can think of at least ten people I would wish that hellish commute on, but he really can't. I am glad to have that balance and to love such a generous man...even if I would happily let my ex make that commute. If we are to keep making this daily commute, we need to have another car. There will be days when I need to go alone, after all. Electric cars make the most sense, and I have had to work to get past "rural American thinking" about the feasibility of electric cars. Here, the charging grid rivals the grid of gas stations in Kansas. It is hard to adjust that mindset, but I am getting there. I also got hung up on wanting to make more trips if I bought a car and feeling like stopping to charge would add unnecessary time to the trip, but if you have ever traveled with a Norwegian, you would know this is really not an issue...like, at all. The relaxed pace of Norwegian life truly pervades all areas of life. Needing to charge the car for thirty minutes would be an opportunity for coffee and ice cream or for a chance to take a short walk. Our latest vacation is a testament to that. After spending another eight days on his bike, I can unequivocally say the detours and stops are more important than the destination. I have more stories and photos from the stops along the way than of the cities where we spent the night. I've never vacationed like that. It is always about getting to the place you want to stay as quickly and efficiently as possible and enjoying your time there. This attitude led to me being more disappointed than him about the Nidaros Cathedral in Trondheim. He had only mentioned a few things he wanted to see on the trip, and Nidaros Cathedral was one of them. We arrived at the cathedral too late to go inside. Mind you, the outside was spectacular, but I was disappointed he wouldn't see the inside. He, on the other hand, saw this as a reason to come back. He really gives me pause to examine my thinking, even if I do not see a day that I will be as hopelessly optimistic as he is! This year our vacation was a little different. There were just four of us, and NBF and I were connected via a bluetooth, in-helmet communications system. I was only ridiculously cold on one day, but I did still wear an under layer everyday. Norway was its beautifully photogenic self, and I think I have a couple of hundred photos at least. I really tried to focus on seeing this year instead of photographing. Although, for much of the ride, I wore a helmet cam which is all fun and games until you are watching through the videos and get caught watching birds and random shit along the way. Probably the funniest filming moment was when I was running the camera and looking at cabins along a scenic lake. I saw a man come outside and was lost thinking about what it would be like to live like that and walk outside to that nature and splendor.....to take a piss. By the time I realized what was happening, I did not have time to turn away. Ah, the memories captured on vacation video. I am not sure I could pinpoint one highlight of the vacation. From arriving to cabins with bunk beds to riding up a winding DIRT road to see a waterfall, it was an extremely memorable vacation. Mind you when I say winding dirt road, I mean complete with hairpin turns and no room to turn around. Not to mention we rode up to Trollstigen and Stegastein. Talk about an exercise in relationship trust building. This week it has been time to focus on the upcoming school year. I am at the same time filled with dread and bursting with excitement. As long as I can remember it isn't a race to the destination but rather the detours and journey that make it so exciting, I think I will be just fine. I have never started a job so certain that I will stumble and struggle, but I am ready for it. Actually, I am looking forward to the opportunity to grow and learn about myself as a leader. Challenges abound, but once again, I am ready to jump in both feet first.
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Nellie HillJust a woman leaping outside her comfort zone and telling the tale. Archives
April 2024
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