Here I am at the last day of July already. Our new school year starts on the 16th for students, the 8th for teachers, and tomorrow for me. I thought I should toss in an update before I get wound tight in the school year again. The summer has passed entirely too quickly considering the school year I had, but the good news is that summer vacation in Norway is not so long that I feel antsy to get back to work like I did in the states.
I made my first, and hopefully only, trip back to the states without seeing my kids. It was really tough. I looked at a lot of flights between NYC and Kansas trying to decide how I could fit it in. In the end, I knew this vacation was about NBF and the bonus kids. We experienced a lot of NYC and Washington, DC finding gems and fool's gold along the way. One of the highlights for me was getting to eat chicken gizzards, fried okra, and cornbread. I would have told you right up to that moment that I don't really miss food from the states. We did a lot of the typical New York City tourist stuff. There was a Broadway show, a trip to the Statue of Liberty, a visit to the September 11 Memorial, a climb to the top of the Empire State building, and more time on the subway than a person needs. We learned American systems for payment don't always have good options for foreign credit cards. One such place was the subway where you were required to put in a five digit zip code for card processing. Norwegian postal codes are four numbers long. 🤦♀️ And if you're saying, "BuT yOu CaN gEt CaSh," please accept this eye roll and middle finger as my opinion on that option. There were small treasures like Strawberry Kiwi Arizona and chocolate Pop Tarts, and places that most certainly looked better online. I am looking at you Ice Cream Museum. 😑 The heat was almost too much for all of us. We left 22C (75F) for 35C+ (95+). Holy fuck balls, I could not drink enough water to keep up with the sweat storm! In the end, we all came home exhausted and ready to be here. Of course, it wouldn't be a real trip without a #nellietravels story. I decided before we left that I could not be trusted to take all of my credit cards and ID with me. I left my driver's license and some other cards on my desk at home. Smart thinking right?? But I promptly forgot that little decision. Then came the moment I realized I had lost my residence card in the states. I tore through every. fucking. thing. I had heard stories about how Norwegian passport control was hard on residents arriving without their cards. FML. NBF alerted the AirBNB host, so she could have the cleaners look for it. Still nothing. So, what can I do but show up in Oslo without it and have them detain me while they look me up in the system. It took me about 45 minutes to get through the long line, but there was no hassle when I got to the counter. The officer looked me up in the system, and I was on my way. I made an appointment to get my card replaced a few days later and ended up having to drive about an hour and a half to Lillehammer, but I was glad to get it done before school started. Here is where it gets really #nellie. After my appointment, I was looking in my wallet and found my residence card which prompted me to realize that I had rented a car in Washington DC... with my fucking resident card not my license! Which of course incited internal panic about where the fuck my license was....only later to remember that brilliant decision to leave it on my desk before vacation. Sigh. It is all sorted now. I have my license in hand, well in wallet, and a brand new, 300 kroner ($30) residence card on the way to replace the perfectly valid one in my wallet. NBF has dubbed me Captain Chaos, and sadly, I cannot even defend myself. NBF and I decided that this summer and fall we would remodel our bedroom. We are going to combine the walk in closet with our bedroom to make a bigger space. This will allow me to hide my desk away in the bedroom and have a more private space to work and, well, to escape to. In planning, we decided to replace one of our windows with a door that will allow us straight access to the utestue and the hot tub. Then, of course, in true Norwegian style, NBF decided he wanted a small place to have coffee so the door will open to a small patio. Personally, I have had the best time hunting for bargains on finn... think craigslist but Norwegian. I found a set of sliding mirrored doors for our wardrobe for 1000 kr that easily cost 15000 kr new, and the door to replace the window was only 1000 kr as well. I found enough flooring for both rooms for 600 kr. Of course, life happens, so progress has come in fits and bursts, but I am really excited to see how it ends up. My last weekend before work really kicks off with teachers in the building, we are going to take a short cruise of sorts to Copenhagen. It is just an overnight trip, but how exciting to be able to explore and have a last big breath before diving into the school year.
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Want a gut check? Get in a healthy relationship.
We were sitting in the hot tub chatting about life and our relationship. And then it got real deep, real quick. And I don't mean because I slipped off my booster seat onto the tub floor. "I think the biggest difference between us is that you were raised to think you had value less than dog shit and needed to earn your worth constantly. You don't understand how you can be valuable to me without proving anything." No, seriously, tell me how you really feel, NBF! But of course, in that moment all I could think was, do I apply that to everyone?? Do I make people prove themselves to me? So of course, I asked and received. "See, that's that thing about you. You give people so many chances. You probably see more value in some than they deserve. It's just in yourself that you don't see value." This was delivered with the sad head shake of someone invested which made it even worse! GULP No lies, it was a struggle this last school year. I have failed soooo much more than I have soared. This is not because of my own personal failings, but it is largely due to circumstances outside of everyone's control. And the majority of the feelings of failure have been tied to work. However, I don't draw my boundaries the same as NBF and my career is still a big part of who I am. I should also note, my boss, my staff, and the school families cannot say enough good things about how this year went. It left me drained, though, both physically and mentally. But on the other hand, he isn't wrong at all. I lived with people the majority of my life that regarded me as either a burden, a nuisance, or property. I was reminded just how much animosity was in my childhood when the oldest of my sisters reached out to me after our mother's death. There are times I think I could happily publish the river of bullshit she flooded my way so that everyone can know who she is, but the ones that matter do know. While I can tell you that taking the high road might be the right thing to do, taking the low road feels like it would make me feel better. Only at times though. At the heart of it, I pity my sister. She holds a heart full of rage, anger, guilt, grudges, and hatred. I know the heft of emotional burdens. It weighs a person more than they know and colors their thinking and lives in unimaginable ways. I also know, her reality is different than mine and that's the rub. You have to meet people at their reality if you are to interact and get past your issues. I can't meet her there, though. because for all the years and miles between me and younger me, I am really not that far away. After all, NBF sees her, clearly. So that has been some of my summer. Relaxing and getting a grip. It is intriguing to me how a different perspective can upset one's delicately balanced ecosystem. NBF isn't a hurricane though, he is much more like rain after you plant seeds. Everyone knows that for a while, the weeds grow better than the flowers. You just have to put in the work to keep your garden thriving. The big difference in my life is that if I would just scoot over, he'd help me pluck the weeds. I am not a nuisance or a burden. The work he pushed into our relationship doesn't mean I need to work harder to regain value. For once, I found someone that sees me how I see him. #worthit Of course, I say these things before we travel to the states for eleven days with the kids. I can't wait to share, though. I know they have all been to the US before, but I don't think they have traveled with an American. I also hope this vacation helps us bond as a family, even if I feel tremendous guilt about never being able to do something like this for my own kids. Check back soon for all the details on the Norwegians in NYC! |
Nellie HillJust a woman leaping outside her comfort zone and telling the tale. Archives
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