This morning on my drive to work, I was watching the sun rise over the mountains, its beams filtered by the morning fog. It is captivating to see how the fog lingers in the path of the small river in the mountain before spilling onto the roadway. I made sure to look at the small waterfalls I drive by everyday. I still keep my eye out for moose, but I have only ever seen one. Lost in my thoughts along this peaceful drive, I wondered, "How long will I live here before I take these views for granted?"
The answer is longer than three years. The third anniversary of my arrival in Norway came and went unnoticed. I guess I find that bizarre since moving to a new country causes a lot of people to mark time like mothers mark the age of a baby. How long have you been in Norway? Two weeks....three months...ONE YEAR...sixteen months. I have officially moved past marking time in months! Next step? Casual dismissal...oh, you know, I've been here twenty something years or so. 🤣 The reason I even noticed in the first place was because I was reviewing some time phrases in Norwegian and realized it really has been three years. What an adventure I've been living. Even though I have moved on to different adventures and settled more into a typical or routine life, I still marvel, still struggle, and still find Norway a place that captivates me enough that I envision spending the rest of my life here. My current goal is to qualify for permanent residence which would afford me a little greater freedom and security in life. Right now, I am living in Norway based on a skilled worker visa, meaning my stay is linked to having employment in the field that qualified me for entry, teaching. Of course, I do not see myself going out of education, but when my school closes in June, I will need to find another job. My options are limited to working in international schools at this time. While there are many in Norway, I would like to stay where I am instead of relocating, which of course, narrows my choices. Also, I do not have enough fluency in Norwegian to apply to a public school...yet. Permanent residence would grant me an indefinite stay in Norway as long as I meet minimum income standards and give me extra protection from expulsion, meaning if for some reason I faced a period of unemployment, I wouldn't be forced to leave immediately. While I could qualify for permanent residence by applying for family reunification immigration through my relationship with NBF, I would prefer to have my own standing to be here....even if the state would pay for my educational requirements and lower the thresholds I need to meet. Some call it goal oriented while others call it unhealthy independence, tomato, tomato. Either way, I have met the residence length requirements, but there are additional requirements for learning about society and the language that I need to meet. The two requirements are 75 hours of learning about society and Norwegian history followed by an exam in the language of your choice and 250 hours of language instruction followed by an exam in which you need to meet level A1 (very basic) Norwegian in speaking, listening, reading, and writing. Honestly, after 250 hours, if you cannot pass A1, you have serious learning issues or you really fucked off through class. However, if you are applying as I am to move from a skilled worker visa to permanent residence, the classes to meet those requirements can cost a lot of money. The only way to skirt the required hours is to pass the society and history exam, in Norwegian, and pass the language exams at A2 level (conversational basic). I studied for the social studies exam, and I really felt like I could pass it without taking 75 hours of coursework. I had signed up for a course and read through all of their information. I attempted to watch their videos, but even playing them on 2x speed, the people seemed to be speaking incredibly slowly. I decided to sign up for the exam and just see how it went. If I passed, I could apply for my exemption to the hours, and if not, I would go back to studying and try again. I almost didn't take the exam in Norwegian, but if I didn't, I wouldn't qualify for the exemption. Thankfully, I passed even though the material was very different than the practice material. That is one great thing about Norway, it pays to have common sense and logic. Now I am scheduled to take the Norwegian language exams in September. I have really struggled with Norwegian. The first issue is my hearing loss. I know this has a big impact on my ability to distinguish the nuances in the vowels and to catch sounds my mind is not used to processing. I have to wrestle my pride in a few areas, too. I dislike that I am struggling with language acquisition when in general learning new information is a moderate to easy process. I feel stifled and contained knowing I cannot fully express myself with such a limited vocabulary. It is so tempting and easy to fall back on English because it is widely spoken here. And probably worst of all, I choke on my pride when I speak in front of adults, especially NBF. This is complicated because if you speak poor/slow Norwegian, Norwegians will switch to English, at times from pity and times from exasperation at your hack job on their language. They are also not shy to point out all your errors if you aren't specific when you ask for help with Norwegian. So this is my adventure this month...to speak much more Norwegian. I have started already with the students at school. I have dipped my toes in with NBF. I am rewatching old classes so I can have topics of conversation and areas where I could use help. In the end if I fail the test, I will have been through the experience once which will help me to be more calm. Failing will also motivate me to be much more prepared than I was this time. For now I am going to dig in and cling to the Norwegian motto during covid...alt blir bra. 💜
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TL;DR BOUGHT A CABIN IN NORWAY OVERLOOKING A FJORD! But we should start a bit further back. I have never owned property. It wasn't until 2016 that I even owned a car that was no one's but my own. I still miss that Mazda 6. I went all out and bought roadside and gap insurance so I could be sure I would be independent. Turns out the gap insurance was a life saver. When I moved over here, I left my car with BAH in Manhattan, and it flooded. My car was totalled. As sad as that sounds, it was fortuitous as I used that money to furnish my apartment and pay expenses while I waited to get my first pay check. (Boy does that seems a lifetime ago after the long couple of years I've faced with COVID, family deaths, and big changes in my own.) During my marriage, the house belonged to my ex and while some of the cars were in both our names, most were in his. The bank account we "shared" was his from childhood, and I can still remember being questioned when I went to make a withdrawal if he knew I was doing it. So, when I walked away, I left everything but the debt and shitty credit score behind. Through the time of my marriage, I was happy to have everything in his name and play the happy housewife. It wasn't until many years later that I woke up to taking care of myself. It took even longer to stop making decisions based in some sense of obligation or sympathy. By the time I left, my credit score was in the low 500s and I had roughly $5,000 in debt. That would grow through a couple of lapses of judgement where I helped when I shouldn't have, interest on the debt, and businesses not separating our names making me responsible for debt that wasn't mine at all. I even found out that somehow his name had been added to my bank account when a withdrawal was made by the bank to pay a bill. At the lowest point, I owed over $8,000. (I'm not going to count student loans, even though we paid his fully, mine still linger.) There were a few years when all I could do was survive and the interest was more than I could put into the loans which of course were wracking up late fees on top of everything. I fought tooth and nail to pull myself up but still have the semblance of a life. Did I need a brand new car? Absolutely not. Did I need a townhouse apartment? Also, no. Did it prolong the marital debt? Fuck yes it did. But it was my life and decisions now. You have to remember I had never lived by myself or owned a car. In that journey, I do remember some of the important milestones along the way that I never thought I would achieve. My credit score broke into the 600s and then the 700s. When I first started rebuilding in earnest, the only credit I could get was a Walmart Credit card with a $250 credit limit. It was borderline humiliating, but I had to do something. The last card I applied for simply to save $100 on a plane ticket came with a five digit credit limit. I was able to afford to buy plane tickets, trips, and treats that weren't strictly necessary. But perhaps the biggest milestone of all, just a couple of weeks ago, I paid off the last of the lingering debt, again minus student loans, but still...HALLELUJAH! While I had shared this information with NBF, I don't think I ever told him that there was no way I could feel really secure about our future until that debt was gone. I really hated that it was this invisible weight and reminder of poorer days, poorer decisions, and a different life. He didn't seem bothered by it, but I was. The relief now that I have shed the last of the financial damage is immeasurable. Yes, but Nellie, you can't lead with a cabin and keep us hanging. Don't worry, we're almost there. Owning a cabin in Norway is a very typical Norwegian thing, and it is not really considered special, rather a necessary part of the culture. A large portion of the population owns one. Most are handed down through families. If Norwegians are serious about anything it is their cabins. It makes perfect sense, after all, there is a much different work life balance here, and what better way to relax than drive four hours from home to a home away from home. Slight exaggeration but not by much. The cabins vary with purpose; some are in the mountains for the skiers, some in the forest for the hikers, and others in little cabin communities for the social Norwegians. I believe the latter to simply be a myth..social Norwegians. But in all seriousness, there are people that go to their cabin simply to be with their cabin neighbors. It is all so very cozy and really reflects a value of being outside of your daily life and to connect with nature. NBF and I had talked about buying a boat, but with my skin, that really isn't an option I can enjoy. We also talked about buying a cabin but it was mostly talk. Then one day we got serious about the discussions. It would be nice having a place for my family to stay when they visit and having a place we can go to get away from the hectic feeling of our jobs. There was back and forth about what was necessary and what were just nice options. I really wanted water, but that drives the cost so far up. We landed on electricity as a necessity after NBF assured me we could have water if we had electricity. You see, princess likes her showers. And in my defense, we are talking about staying up to a week or more at a time. All that was left was to set a budget and start looking. I cannot even count how many cabin ads I looked through, dreaming but not sure how serious I was. And of course, I still had the last little chunk of debt. We also took our vacation and a break from cabin hunting. Then, one day we visited a cabin. I was in awe. This one was actually really close to home, and we had just happened to see the ad hanging in the shopping center. It was a nice cabin that was well taken care of, but we were already talking about doing a lot of work so that it would be what we wanted. In the end, we placed a bid but bidding went through the ceiling very quickly. On a side note, the bidding on properties over here is interesting as well. Once a bid is place, the person submitting the bid sets a deadline. If no one else bids before that time, then the owner can choose to accept or decline the offer. The owner can, of course, accept the bid anytime before the deadline, but why not wait to see how high it goes? If another bid is made before the deadline, then that bidder sets a deadline which must be at least thirty minutes later. This will go back and forth until someone decides they have reached their limit. At the end of the last deadline, the owner gets to choose to accept the offer or not. Store this away for later. I know, I know...we are close I promise. First, I have to tell you about some adventures in cabin hunting. One cabin we went to look at had a rather steep and curved entryway that happened to be grass covered and slippery the day we visited. We got stuck. And not in a "let's push the car out" way, but in a "straps around trees and getting towed out" kind of way. Luckily, at the last minute we took the older car, the one NBF drives the most. I was almost certain we would be walking home because two of the tires were over the edge of the driveway. NBF had tried taking a run at it, going up backward, and just nothing. Then there was a showing at the cabin that we didn't know about and thank fuck a man showed up with a four wheel drive truck and pulled us out. There is so much more to the story but the trauma is too fresh 😂 and after all, we made it out with the car and without walking. I joked that we were taking that car every cabin trip after that adventure so the car I drive didn't get damaged. (Turns out that was a great decision.) One cabin was really secluded and Google maps took us down a cattle/tractor path. 😳 Another had a driveway so narrow that the tree branches scratched down the side of the car. A few had roads that were so curvy and bumpy that I felt nauseous just riding to the cabin. The next to last cabin we looked at had a winding road that went down. At the top NBF says, "Do you think we should drive down there?" Narrator: They should not have driven down there. Don't get me wrong, the cabin was perfect. It was THE cabin. The road back up though. 😳 When we started up, we stalled. I was having flashbacks. Then NBF backs WAY up to make a good run, but can't keep from saying, "If this doesn't work, we'll try backing up!" I. PANICKED. Here we are barrelling up a road with hairpin turns and a slope that is really only good for sledding. When we made it out, he was ready to laugh while I was still prying my fingers off of the door handle. That road is the sole reason we didn't bid on that cabin. Once up that slope was enough to last me a lifetime. Then we went to a cabin "on the wrong side of the fjord," not only that, it was not a cabin color...it's blue. And of course you park beside the road and trek up a lot of stairs to get there. But I fell in love with the view. Photos do not do it justice. from the whole veranda, you see trees, fjord, and hills. The yard is full of blueberries, raspberries, and tyttebær. We spent about 45 minutes talking with the owner and looking things over. We chatted on the way home, set our limit, and actually put a bid in that night. It is amazing that you can take care of things like cabin loans over your phone. It was as simple as clicking a link in an sms to sign away the next thirty years of my life. 🤣 Anyway, NBF sets a noon deadline, and it isn't until ten that another bidder puts in an offer. NBF is keeping me updated, but I have to work. Then he sent the message that our limit had been reached. I just sent back "okay 😞." There goes that cabin, but I guess we'll find another. What a let down. But then he says...no that is OUR bid. OH, WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAD WITH THAT?? But that means there's hope! I scroll up and see the time he sent the message and send for confirmation anyway, what time?? I try not to stare at the clock waiting for 12:12 to come, and then Congratulations! We are buying a cabin. And just like that, I won't be drinking when someone says, never have I ever owned a cabin in Norway overlooking a fjord. BECAUSE WE OWN A MOTHERFUCKING CABIN IN MOTHERFUCKING NORWAY OVERLOOKING A MOTHERFUCKING FJORD! I will of course be taking more photos when we actually get the keys, but here she is. We got a great deal as the owner is going to leave much of the furnishings! She still needs a name, but I can't wait for the adventure and memories to be had here....and we can even take the good car. 😂 (Picture credits go to the realtor on finn.no and a crop job from Google earth) been on a cruise. Sometimes it feels like my whole life in Norway is a series of "Never have I ever" adventures. Small things like riding the subway and double decker buses and more momentous things like eating fish soup in a cafe overlooking the ocean or finding a man that truly sees me. This man lives for the moments he can say, "You've never done that? Let's go!" I could say that he does it mostly because the things I haven't done are often part of life for him and simplistic, but it is more than that. You should have seen his eyes when he took me to walk on a frozen lake for the first time or took me skiing. He's taken me on many tours of Norway that I would not have made myself. I have been able to see Norway from a less tourist driven viewpoint. Don't get me wrong, NBF marvels at the sites and is quite the tourist himself, but the places we eat , stay, and explore are places I don't think I would have found or dared to choose. After all, who books themselves a cabin with bunkbeds or drives up dirt roads on a motorcycle, ON THE SAME TRIP? 😉 To be fair there was a waterfall at the top of that dirt road. Our latest adventure was to squeeze a small cruise in before school started. There are regular cruises from Oslo to Copenhagen where you can leave on Friday and return on Sunday. To Norwegians, making a quick trip to Sweden for shopping or making a weekend trip to Copenhagen is completely normal, so one day, NBF just says, "We're going on a weekend cruise to Denmark." Um...okay? But, for a girl from Kansas saying, "I'm commuting to work through Oslo," or "We're going to make a quick trip to Sweden for some shopping," is hard to wrap your mind around. 🤯 This is reinforced when I message BAH, "We're on a weekend cruise to Copenhagen," and he replies, "Ever think you would hear yourself say that phrase?" We got to the parking area and are now closer to one of these ships than I have ever been. It is just so massive. When my sister was stationed on the USS Kittyhawk, I remember reading about how they had stores and a post office. In this moment, I realized that I never understood when I read that. I think I have been in strip malls in Kansas that are smaller than this ship was. And of course, along comes Tony saying there are bigger and better ones, but this is a good one none the less. (WHAT?) Our room had windows and a view, at least then, of the city and harbor. We didn't stay long because NBF said the best place to be was up on the top deck. From there, we could enjoy a drink and watch Oslo fade into the horizon. And it was magnificent. We watched the Oslofjord widen, but it would be many hours before it was completely out of site. Never one for sitting around when there is exploring or adventure, NBF was ready and roaring to go. He wanted to check the restaurant menu for where we had reservations. I have to take ownership now of giving him really bad advice. We had pizza for dinner on Thursday, and I said "SUUUURE, you can book an Italian restaurant for Friday. They'll have plenty of pasta dishes even if they have some pizza." Narrator (who I like to imagine is Morgan Freeman): They did not have plenty of pasta dishes. We decided to try the buffet instead. We had to wait in line for probably fifteen minutes to make reservations, and I was reminded of my pizza/pasta remarks. 😂 We did a little more touring and had a drink in a bar that had windows all around to watch the scenery while we waited for dinner time. Now, I know I'm going to fire up my American readers when I say, Norway does buffets better. Now, now before you come at me with your America is home of the all-you-can eat, look at this photo. IT'S A KID SIZE BUFFET SPREAD. Of course the size makes it simply adorable, but the food on that table is all kid friendly stuff like nuggets and pasta. At dinner there was even an ice cream machine. My jealousy peaked watching kids go serve themselves and remembering laboring through buffet lines with my own children. Had BAH had a buffet of chicken nuggets and mac and cheese they could serve themselves...sigh. By the way, our dinner was delicious. The evening was spent mostly in our cabin, not what you think. Because guess who has two thumbs and gets seasick? 🤢 NBF assured me that these waves were not bad at all, and as a matter of fact, we would have faced far worse if we had taken this cruise later in the year. Yeah, well, pass the white bag anyway. Speaking of which, seeing the white bags everywhere because the staff is prepared and knowing I was not alone was little consolation. I am happy to report I never needed my bags unlike the car trip in the Ozarks with my grandparents...their poor car. The next day we were awakened by the announcement to pack your shit because we would be in port in two hours. Of course, they are much more polite than that, but I was finally asleep dammit. When I saw the line for breakfast, my stomach churned at the thought of standing and swaying in line waiting to be seated, but NBF pulled me to another restaurant for people with our cabin type. (Thank you Jesus...Odin?... he wasn't a tight ass Norwegian on this trip) This is actually where I got the photo above. It was impossible to get a photo where faces were not visible at dinner. So yes, kids served themselves breakfast as well. I even watched one mother write her phone number on each of her kids' arms and send them off to play on the kids floor of the ship. I wish I could have seen that but people tend to get judgmental about adults without children milling about a play area. When we docked in Copenhagen, it was time for real adventure. However, we needed to wait in line for disembarking and take a short bus ride to the city center. Come to think of it, I didn't feel too panicked and claustrophobic in that hallway. Now, picture the most crowded place you have ever been. You know, people are standing everywhere, and there is no elbow room. That's almost how many bicycles were at the station. When they say Denmark is the bicycle capital of the world, you get a giggle or think good for them, but y'all, bikes every. where. There were even places with lifts so bicycles could be stacked two high and yes, there are bicycles everywhere in the city. Not only that but bicycle lanes, and I can tell you that you dare not stand in one. We really only had a couple of items on our list to do which was good because we really only had a few hours to explore. I was told the second BAH that I would get him a Hard Rock Cafe shirt from every European capital (or major city) I visited, so that was our first stop. I am pretty sure he only agreed to this arrangement because he didn't think he would get so many shirts. I saw lines to get into all the major luxury brands, I guess I will call them, think Louis Vuitton and Gucci. But the brand I was most interested in was LEGO! Not sure if NBF appreciates the value in having a woman who would pass up Gucci for Lego. 😂 Oh my goodness, there were so many huge kits for everything from Harry Potter to Star Wars. Of course, I had to snap BK the huge Hedwig. I've them HP Lego kits for each Christmas, but we're going to have to have shelves if I keep that tradition. Of course, we couldn't visit Copenhagen without seeing the Little Mermaid. Such an underwhelming situation, and she is so small. I mean, of course they give you warning. After all she is called the Little Mermaid. It was a peaceful but long walk from the city center back to our ship. We saw other sights and shops and stopped for lunch, at least that is what we called it, along a canal filled with boats and people. NBF even made me stand by a little viking guarding a store because we finally found someone my height. 😑 There were also many little things along the way like finding out Denmark's postage for mail inside the borders is more than it costs me to send a postcard to the states from Norway ($3.50). I also got to see the inside of a grocery store and found out beer in Denmark is about 1/3 the cost of Norway. So I guess it depends on your priorities...mail from Norway but drink in Denmark. On the way home, we had a really nice meal in a steakhouse. I ordered my steak rare, and it came out well done, so NBF sent it back which prompted the cook to do the "you want rare, I'll show you rare" and actually cooked it perfectly. I tried to drink a few more drinks to see if I could counteract the rocking of the boat with the dance of the tipsy. It didn't work, so we went back to the cabin to lay down. Of course, we were restless so we found ourselves again in the bar with the view watching children dance and listening to a guitarist sing American hits, old and newer. We even got up again in the middle of the night to take a walk around the top of the ship. You need to know that the scene with Jack and Rose on the very point is a fucking lie. Their asses would have been blown off. I couldn't even steady my phone for a decent photo with a partial wind block. All in all, it was simply a wonderful trip, and I am grateful that NBF helped me mark another thing off my bucket list. I would actually go again, but I would remember the Dramamine. Fun fact about Norway, you can just message your doctor that you get motion sickness, and they will write a prescription for you. Oh, have I not mentioned that I can directly message my doctor? Medical differences is a whole other post. Anyway, enjoy some photos, in absolutely no order, of my trip while I go about the business of starting my first school year without being a classroom teacher. |
Nellie HillJust a woman leaping outside her comfort zone and telling the tale. Archives
April 2024
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