I had the best of intentions with this one, but still I am sliding in just before the due date. After all, it seems only right that a post about a holiday in May, gets posted in May. On Saturday (the 14th) I created this post and made a plan for having a stellar entry, I took notes on the day of the celebration, which I have hauled around everywhere...only to have lost them by the day I needed them, and then I promptly sat on my ass for two weeks. So without further ado, here are my thoughts around small town May 17th in Norway.
In order to appreciate the holiday, I will throw in some historical background, but this post will remain largely subjective and anecdotal. The history of the Scandinavian area is intertwined and complicated. I encourage you to read up on it, as it is fascinating. Long story short, Norway spent centuries under the control of Denmark and Sweden being passed back and forth like a child of divorce. Eventually, that child came of age. During the Napoleanic wars, Denmark was forced to back Napolean, and of course, that side lost their asses. Land and countries were then divvied up like poker chips on a Friday night. When it was decided that Denmark would hand over control of Norway to Sweden, Norway said, "Hey, fuck you guys. We are our own country." On the seventeenth of May in 1814, the constitution of Norway was signed in Eidsvoll. Norwegians will not shy from a fight, but they excel in powerfully existing and claiming their space. This might be why his pillow is in the center of the bed, but I digress. Of course there was back and forth between Norway and Sweden, broken rules answered with newly enforced regulations, small invasions met with stronger resistance than expected, you know, the stuff of monarchs and aggravated subjects. May 17th continued to be a big middle finger to Sweden since Norway was technically under their rule but celebrating independence. This teenage rebellion lasted until 1905 when Daddy Sweden said, "Y'all stubborn motherfuckers can have your way. Peace, bitches.✌️" Thus the rest of the world acknowledged what Norway had known years, Nordmenn were here to stay. Nowadays, there is national television coverage for several hours on May 17th, so it is possible to see snippets of the holiday all over the country. NBF is not what you would call a typical Norwegian, I mean, he lives with an American, so there's that. Many people rise early for a big breakfast and to get dolled up for the day. Meanwhile, we slept in. He didn't force me into wading through crowds. It helps that the bonus kids are older, so there weren't as many community expectations of us. Anyway, I was quite content getting to soak in all of the coverage for the day. It was simply fascinating to the differences in weather, dress, and traditions but to see the underlying current of unity. Plus, the Jaren parade goes right in front of our house, so we could step out on the veranda and watch, and then go back to our TV view. Approaching a holiday deemed a celebration of independence from a purely American viewpoint, might leave you feeling disappointed because Norwegians are not all, "fuck yeah, fireworks and military prowess" however, there is plenty of great stuff going on with this holiday! First of all, it is a paid holiday/red day for every employee in the nation. As a matter of fact, in our teachers' contracts, it states they will receive 300% compensation if they are asked to work that day. Basically, the government pays 100% for the holiday and the employer pays 200% because it is overtime on a red day. Awesome, right? Many teachers will volunteer to participate in the day's parade regardless of pay, because there is a spotlight on children on May 17 and activities are planned accordingly. The parades are called barnetog, child train, and bunad clad children sing and march while carrying flags and signs. The longest barnetog occurs in Oslo where over 100 schools participate and march in front of the castle in view of the royal family. The order of schools in the parade is a source of pride as many of the first schools are celebrating milestones or have earned the front of the procession in another way. Of course, parades, games, and endless ice cream and hot dogs are what children think the day is all about. I got a couple of giggles from the children's answers to the reporters' question, "How many ice creams will you eat today?" By the way, 1000 is a legitimate answer as I heard that multiple times. One child very specifically answered 382. #lifegoals Every new reporter interviewed kids from their coverage area, and many reporters took part in games and races with the kids as well. One reporter got outrun by an eight year old girl even though he was holding his potato on his spoon with his hand. Even with the similar vein of celebratory events, there are some differences that make the holiday unique in certain regions. Up north, it was still snowing and cold while in Oslo and south, it was unusually sunny. Even BK commented his FB memories showed grey and overcast skies. Some parades featured skiers while still others were trains of boats. In one city there were bunad cows. Bunad is the term for traditional Norwegian clothing. I am not sure an oral description can do these suits and dresses justice. The embroidered floral designs along with the jewelry accessories make each a work of art. The design patterns and jewelry design are unique to different areas of Norway. Again, I highly recommend that you read up or at least Google photos. Bunads are a common confirmation gift and can cost upwards of $3000 easily. Perhaps one of the most unique designs I saw was the bunad of a pair of Kenyan girls. The apron of their dresses were made with traditional African fabric. Another really interesting development is that it is becoming more socially acceptable to wear a gender neutral bunad, keeping in line with Norway's acceptance of people for who they are. Even though these women's dresses are expensive and cumbersome, it doesn't stop the wearer from participating in anything. I saw women carrying children, running, skiing, playing games, and more. I was in awe of the woman making a full tabletop of ideas on the grill without breaking a sweat...even if I quickly decided I would not eat her burgers. Norwegians are serious about taking holidays for their purpose instead of using it as a day off to catch up on house or yard work. Many stores are closed, so all shopping needs to be done in advance. There are rules about not using power tools and lawn mowers. In reality, it is difficult to ignore the expectation that you spend the day with your family and reflecting on the holiday. Each kommune arranges its own celebration so that people are not even expected to travel far to participate in some sort of social event. Here in Jaren, it is the parents of the third grade class that arrange the children's games at the community center. For our part, we grilled and spent our day chatting about traditions and deciding if next year we would spend our day differently. Maybe most surprising about the holiday is that May 17th is the official open of summer for Norwegians. Similar to Memorial Day in the United States, only much fucking colder. The grills and patio furniture are in service once again. Boats are going back into the water in some places, and I have heard many stories about swimming in the local waters even if some years they had to CHIP A HOLE IN THE ICE! Meanwhile, the best I can muster is not wearing the same coat I wear in the winter. Of course, at home I keep hearing, "double digit temperatures, Nellie, that means summer". Only on June 21, when school ends can I really agree summer begins. And, fellow teachers, before you gloat too much about your school year being over, remember I had a week (or more) holiday in October, February, December and April. So for now, I'll buckle down to finish the school year and continue taking a jacket to work. UPDATE: I found my notes, so I am going to add a few more observations I made that I couldn't remember from my notes. I am pleasantly surprised to know that I did include most of what I recorded. In southern Norway, there was a car show to commemorate May 17. Classic American cars are popular here, and I was pleasantly surprised to see a 65 Mustang. However, I was utterly giddy seeing the host in her pink cowboy hat. Of course, that didn't last when she tried to get into the car. During the parades, I saw people throwing toothpaste and taking selfies. I had to look twice when I saw a woman with a mobile taking a snapshot of the royal family when she went by. The synchronization of the movements of the cannon squads was stellar. I was just in awe and disappointed when the cameras panned away. Norwegians tend to be stoic and are only animated in times of high emotion, so it would make sense that a singer standing motionless would blend right in. However, there was a choir that gave a brilliant performance complete with smiles and moving to the music. They were dressed in the subdued Norwegian colors of the bunad...except one woman who dared to wear bright yellow but stood out even more for her obvious lack of vim and vigor when compared to the rest of the choir. And lastly, you should listen to Kongensangen, the King's song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYrZuu4Uk0k
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One of my teachers was ill this week, so I got to step into the classroom for a couple of hours again. That might be the worst part of my job, missing out on the day to day growth of students. I've seen the memories popping up on FB and remember fondly that covid and Norwegian expectations forced me to teach outside much more often. While I do still spend time in classrooms and with the students for our weekly assembly, it simply isn't the same. The teacher sent me a plan to follow, and I will admit I strayed a bit. We still completed the five senses poem, but not as quickly as she had planned. We took a walk in the woods near the school and talked about what we saw, heard, smelled, and felt. I used the "Picture This" app to show them how easy it was to identify plants. The similes I heard were fantastically descriptive, especially for English learners. They touched so many things, and impressed me with the adjectives they chose. From poofy to crunchy, they felt it all. Upon finding a hill, they performed the sacred childhood ritual of rolling down while giggling wildly. And of course, they wanted to take pinecones and flowers back to school. I caved and told them to choose one. After all, we can't ruin nature for others. Narrator: They did not just choose one. BUT! they did at least listen when I told them even though taste was one of the five senses, we would not be doing that outside. Their curiosity is contagious, and their laughter is infectious. I have always enjoyed being with kids. When I think about it, teacher is near my core definition of myself, much like mom. I think that is why this year of stepping into leadership has been more difficult than I was prepared to handle. Don't get me wrong, management, or lack thereof, had A LOT to do with how badly this year went for me. The company that owns our family of schools had hired "consultants" to help get the schools up and running. The couple had sucessfully established the other campuses, so Ullensaker would be their fourth. I was approached about being the head of school in February of 2021. Actually, I was offered the head of school and first grade homeroom position. I knew this would be a challenge, but the best of both worlds. I could make the step to leadership, but I didn't have to give up the classroom time with the kids. With an estimate of 60 kids in the school, I thought if I could grin and bear it for one year, it would all come out in the wash. WRONG! FUCKING WRONG! In the Ullensaker kommune, the politicians are generally not supportive of private schools. Couple this with the fact that the "consultation couple" did not have ties as they did in other kommunes, and we had issues. There was some trouble finding a suitable building and getting it approved for use as a school, so it was touch and go as to whether I would get to make the move or not. While it would be a dream to move closer to NBF, I really enjoyed my job and life in Sarpsborg. So things were going to work out well no matter what. However, in May, CIS Ullensaker's plan was finalized, and I began working toward preparing the school to open even though I was in the states and still working my PYP Coordinator position for Sarpsborg. I busied myself creating a Google drive with all of the policies and documents my staff and I would need. Most of this was copying from other schools and altering with the new school's information. Another project I was pulled into was the development of a learning management and school administration program. Needless to say my summer was already busy when I got the call that I would need to take the head of school IB course and would have to qualify under Norway's more stringent teacher requirements, meaning I needed to take 6 credit hours of math. When the school year began, not only was I the head of school and the first grade teacher, but I was the technology coordinator, business administrator, and mentoring a brand new PYP Coordinator and a brand new teacher. The school was also using a new administrative system that was still under development, so I had to create Google slide presentations for the grade cards and keep attendance on paper while I waited for them to finish the programming, all the while converting documents into spreadsheets so they could more easily cull the data. The coordinating couple, let's just call them Can't Understand Needs, Titles, and Schedules..or CUNTS if you will, made it clear that I was not to speak to any of the other heads of school except the one I didn't know at all. Further, I was not to speak to the principal of schools. My second in command had a dream schedule and only had to be to work four days a week and for half days at that. I was isolated with little to no help unless I wanted to email the CUNTS. After making one minor adjustment to a schedule and getting read the riot act, I decided I was better off wading into the muck alone. Looking back on this, I recognize all of the hallmarks of an abusive relationship. In real time, I was too busy to do anything. We opened in August with 11 kids, and it quickly became apparent that had we had sixty, I would have drowned. (Like I wasn't already) Not only was I nearly single handedly trying to run a school, I was building furniture we needed. One of the CUNTS better ideas was to fire the cleaning company to save money. When my cleaning lady went out sick, I began doing all the school cleaning as well. As if I needed one more crisis, I became very sick. However, there were no substitute teachers and no substitute cleaner, so I pushed through. NBF had to bite his tongue MANY times, and more than once commented that I should be staying home. I was afraid he might leave me home a couple of times. There were multiple staff absences including my PYP Coordinator so I was partially covering that job as well as substituting. This break neck pace lasted until September when I broke protocol and asked for help. I called my old PYP Coordinator who insisted we have a meeting after just a few minutes on the phone. When she came to my office, gone were her normal positive outlook and words of encouragement. She sat in stunned silence when I explained all of my tasks. Even though it wasn't her job, she began advocating for me and pushing in help as she could. Honestly, just being able to tell someone that understood was almost as valuable as anything. I didn't realize it until much later, but as the sole leader up here, I was suffering from an immense sense of isolation. It took the final departure of the CUNTS, rearranging staff and teaching assignments, ditching the still-being-built management program, and hiring a first grade teacher and cleaning company to make the pace barely tolerable for me. Many of the jobs required that I learn a new skill set in order to complete them. I think the IT guy and business admin I was in constant contact with were grateful when I started getting some of the issues under control. Running ourselves a little further in the year, I had to replace two teachers, one was a brand new (because of course) Norwegian teacher and the other was a cello teacher. While I could go on for a country mile with teacher stories, I feel that deserves a post of its own, and quite honestly, I am still living it. My personal life was no less challenging. I was adapting to a new home and living with people. Adopting a feral human that has lived alone for eight years is a huge task, so kudos to NBF for sticking it out. My mother passed away which brought up grief I didn't expect and a confrontation with a sibling that I didn't need. Her last message to me was so vile and hateful, that even my chatty donkey of an NBF was unusually quiet and could just manage, "My family has had problems, but I have never experienced ANYTHING like this." At Christmas I was able to visit AB and my boys, but the cloud that hung over that visit is that it would be the last visit with AB. I think we both knew, and that was when my grieving for her started in earnest. In February when I was informed the school would be closing, it was honestly a relief. My god, in reality I was the ringmaster of a shit storm of a runaway circus at best. Then, of course, I realized I would need to inform my staff, but then we had hope that maybe we wouldn't close. There was back and forth and SO. MUCH. wasted work and effort into preparing to close and then to stay open. I had arranged for staff to interview at other campuses and had the very uncomfortable IN PERSON chat with the families. I advocated for sending a letter only to be overridden. There was so much ignoring my input that I finally just had to go with whatever was thrown my way. When the company finally decided to keep the school open for one more year and I had that settled, my body said...ENOUGH. I was on sick leave for about a month trying to get some control over my body and mind. Looking back, it is a surprise I could push as far as I did, but I can tell you one of the hardest parts of healing was realizing that I was not weak or worthless for not being able to maintain that pace. Can you imagine? Looking at all I had been through, I was actually astounded that I was on the verge of a breakdown. *audible eye roll* But seriously, fuck America's toxic work ethic and companies that drill those "values" into people. I feel it necessary to mention that the principal of schools and my former PYP Coordinator pulled an intervention together that was meaningful and without which I would not have survived the year. Next year will look nothing like this year, and for that I am grateful. So, yeah. I miss "just being a classroom teacher". I don't think I have ever taken my job for granted because I truly find joy in it, but revisiting has definitely reminded me of my why. Hopefully next year I can find even more time to be in the classrooms when it isn't an emergency, last minute call where I need to balance all my hats while I attempt to teach. And more importantly, I can find the joy in doing the head of school job. Probably the best news for me to pass on is that I can laugh at the circumstances now. I was desperately missing that. Last year when covid was at its toughest, the admin team could sit in the office and laugh, vent, joke, and eat Reeses together. There is nothing as powerful for a teacher or administrator than stepping into an office with people that understand and laughing it off in the moment so that it doesn't turn into a pot full of festering stew of shitty feelings. I'll have more opportunities to laugh it off next year thanks to the planning we have put in place. I am really looking forward to actually learning my job next year and having a better understanding of what being a head of school is really like.
For now, we will end this year strong with trips and celebrations of learning. And even though I needed to don a top hat and red cape to crack the whip on this circus, it has been a good year in that I have been reminded of my resilience and priorities. It will go down in the books as a particularly rough school year, but it is not without value. I have learned more about my limits and been able to challenge my beliefs about sick leave and the treatment of mental fatigue. I have seen the power of mentorship and loyalty from my staff. I would even dare to say I am no longer feral but merely a not well trained human! |
Nellie HillJust a woman leaping outside her comfort zone and telling the tale. Archives
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