Before I changed jobs, I had signed up to go to a workshop in Tromsø. I have always wanted to go that far north, so not only did I agree to go, but I worked it out so that NBF could join for the weekend. It would be a mini vacation weekend. Of course, then I changed jobs and had to rearrange the tickets and find accommodations, but we decided to stick to our original plan. Over the last few weekends, we have been working hard at the cabin to get it ready for visitors, so this would be a welcome break from that. Not to mention I was finally going to get to see the aurora in all its splendor...instead of the watered down version we get in the south sometimes. Where shall I even begin with this #nellie of a masterpiece? I guess we go all the way to the beginning where I apparently ordered a ticket for Tony that did not include any luggage allowance, not even a carry on bag. "What were you thinking when you ordered these tickets, Nellie? You were originally supposed to leave the day before me! Was your plan for me to just go naked in the arctic?!" Seriously, could the man not just be happy that I took a sweater out of my bag to make room for his clothes? Surprisingly, the trip through security was uneventful. I think to myself how maybe my travel vibes are changing. I mean after all, Switzerland was uneventful too. We sit down to have a coffee before the flight, and I check the weather and aurora apps only to see the forecast is not so fantastic. But! I am out adventuring with NBF, so at least there is that. The plane is even on time. We arrive in Tromsø to cloudy, snowy weather, but we have rented a car which means we have a short drive to our Airbnb. There will be no waiting in the cold for us. Except... for some reason this car rental company has decided snow brushes are soooo last year. There is at least 20 centimeters of snow on this car. Of course, I am about as helpful as a hand fan in August, but at least I can wipe the side windows. We giggle our way to the apartment about the audacity because seriously, who does not keep a snow brush in their car here?? The giggling stops when we walk into the Airbnb realizing that the owner HAS to be a fisherman because the story he told does not match the fish I am seeing. It is clean and...cozy, and we again laugh it up. I ask NBF for my credit card he used to rent the car so I can put it away. He checks his pocket and then assumes I am having a laugh. Um, no. Dude, where's my card?? (Did you just age yourself with me?) He checks pockets and even the car, but no dice or card. I freeze my card, and we decide a nice stroll downtown for dinner will be perfect. When I say stroll, I really mean slide...downhill....in the snow....the whole time knowing we have to climb back up this motherfucker. I shit you not, I held the rail and slid down a set a stairs. What in the unkempt shit show?! I can assure you that the climb back up after a couple of ciders was no more graceful, although I did save the falling for Friday. Friday, we both worked because we have jobs where you can work remotely and of course, we are too cheap to take a vacation day. Since we know we will be drinking, we decide to walk downtown. Our plan was to take a tour of the old Mack brewery, visit a place called Ølhallen, the Beer Hall, and then have dinner. Upon setting out, we are maybe 100 meters from the house and I toddler it. Hands in my pockets, straight to my ass, wipe the fuck out. Another 50 meters or so and I just start to slide. If Tony had not been there, I might have gone all the way down that slope. Of course, I probably would have been on my ass before too long. We decided to skip the stairs, but apparently, there is not a good way to get to downtown from our place. We did arrive in one piece, thankfully even his camera survived being in my backpack when I fell. The Mack Brewery is the northern most beer brewery in the world. It was really interesting to learn about the process of making the beer and to hear about their supplies of hops, grains, and water. One of the brew masters caught us before our tour, so we were invited to his microbrewery for a mini bonus tour. One of the most interesting parts for me was the small plastic cartridges they use to make all of the bottles. Turns out they bottle for Coke as well. NBF snagged another cheap souvenir to follow up his corona virus from Scotland....beer can tops that had not been sealed to cans. I am afraid it is now his mission to find the cheapest souvenirs for every trip. We decided not to linger at the beer hall because is was standing room only. It was a really neat place though. There are 72 beers on tap there! We also thought we would have a nice dinner, but all of the restaurants we had wanted to try were full. Walking along, we saw a quaint pub and decided we were too hungry to pass it up. The place was unique in that all the seating areas were seating areas you would see in a living room. We took a seat on a couch, ordered the reindeer stew, and planned reservations for Saturday so we could have a nice seafood meal. The reindeer stew took about half an hour to arrive and the waitress offered to fill Tony's beer but ignored my empty glass. Later I was telling Tony how unimpressed I was between the exposed ass cheeks waitress and the 30 minute reindeer stew with only ground meat. Turns out his stew had actual chunks of reindeer and he actually got a second beer, so of course his retelling of that meal is much different than mine. The gem of the night was an ice bar. It was about -7C (20F) inside, and the ice was stunning artistic master crafting at its finest. There were squid, bears, star bursts, and even ice Roald Amundsen with his dogs. This was quite possibly the most expensive beer and cider we have ever had, and that is saying something seeing that I live in Norway. I would do it again. NBF and I often talk about the value of memories and experiences over things and this was one for the memory banks. We tried a different route home, but it was not much more graceful than the trip down. Did I mention it was snowing and cloudy and that even though there was a 70% chance to see the aurora, the sky was not cooperating?! Anyway, we arrive at the apartment to see the car is buried, but that is tomorrow Tony's problem. Or as it turns out, the car was Saturday Nellie's problem. We were scheduled for a fjord tour which promised wildlife, a stop at a fishery, an underwater drone, and some snacks. I went out early to brush off the car with a broom I saw on the porch. I saw my chance to be helpful. What I didn't see was my chance to stand in snow up to my calves while I pulled more snow onto myself from the top of the car. At one point when I was trying to push the snow off the roof to the other side, I launched the broom like a goddamn rocket at the car parked beside ours. Thankfully I missed. After I got the snow cleared and started the car, I went back into the apartment unimpressed with my life choices. We head to the pier to get on the boat, and I am watching the sky with skeptical eyes....remembering our trip to Ulriken where we had (heavy sarcasm) such a good view. We get settled in our seats and out in the fjord, and I just stared as a tear rolled down my cheek. Can't win 'em all, but I sure could have punched Tromsø in it's cloudy face in that moment. NBF went after coffee in his usual cheerful manner simply saying, "That's Norway," with a shrug. He came back with a delicious brioche pastry covered in berries, and we sipped coffee while the fog waxed and waned. There were some beautiful sites along the fjord, but if I am to be completely honest, our ferry trip across Hardanger Fjord held much more wonder. I would even say my tour around Bergen with BAH was better. Nonetheless, I learned some history and saw things I had never seen such as the ice on the water. We saw the wreckage site of the Tirpitz, a WWII era German ship that was sunk in the fjord. I was fascinated to learn that the Norwegians were recycling some of the recovered materials into roads. I got to experience a taste of Tony's childhood with Tran fish oil and Sanasol. He told me his grandmother would reward him with Sanasol if he would take his Tran, but his mother had no such mercy. I think they were both sadists. My stomach thanked me later for trying pickled herring, dried cod, and those two wonder elixers at one go. All in all, a good use of the morning. On our way back to the parking area, we saw the Troll Museum and decided, why not. It was a silly little museum that mixed statues and augmented reality for a neat experience. I didn't realize before we went that there were different types of trolls or that the stories were such a complex mythology. I had a lot of fun playing with the technology and sent myself a few pictures. Of course, the car was AGAIN covered in snow, but there was a bright yellow addition. A fucking parking ticket. You have got to be kidding me. I KNOW I spun the app to start the parking.....on ...MY car.....that was racking up parking fees at Gardemoen. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, I forgot to change the app registration to the rental. I have filed a protest hoping that they will have mercy on me for my silly oversight, but that remains to be seen. We ventured on to the Polar Museum and the Arctic Cathedral before we went to dinner. The Arctic Cathedral was beautiful, and we decided we wanted to go back after dark to better see the stained glass from the outside. The architecture of the cathedral is unique and the inside is simple but elegant. I still find it interesting that the churches here use tourism as a side hustle. The Polar Museum was based on exploration and hunting in the north. It was especially neat to see more about the life of Roald Amundsen since I had taught about his story of exploration when I lived in Kansas. NBF got to giggling at one point and made me turn around to see him. He had been ducking through doorways and paths that were clearly padded just for taller people, but I had been walking obliviously through never noticing. There were pelts from all types of seals, polar bears, and musk ox along with more than a few taxadermied animals. Perhaps the most interesting part for me was the exhibition celebrating queerness in those times. The representation is important and honestly makes a better story than those two single gals decided all they needed were their cats and lived together as best friends. The last adventure of the night was to go up the mountain gondola to see the city. We arrived a little early and sat in the waiting room watching the view disappear. By the time it was our turn to go up the mountain, we could not see 3 meters in front of our faces. I was fully prepared for another night of seeing nothing. The weather had been disappointingly snowy and cloudy the whole time so far, but we had already plunked down the cash for our round trip ticket to fog city in a sardine can. There are kids that ride the gondola up and ski back down the mountain, and our gondola was packed with five of them and several couples and families. When we arrived at the top, there was no view to be had, so I went to the restroom and NBF found a table. By the time he sat, the view actually cleared. Boy was I glad we waited for nighttime. It was simply breathtaking. It never fails with NBF, we begin planning our next adventure before the one we are on ends. It is one of the things I enjoy about traveling with him. There will always be a next time. It was over before we knew it with too much money spent and not everything checked off of our list. We missed the aurora and the aquarium. We really wanted a whale tour as well. We considered planning another trip, but then again maybe not. We slid around the city and lost enough shit. Not to mention we were driving a snow magnet! There is so much more to tell as usually happens when one has a big experience like this, but I think all the highlights are there.
The trip back was where #nellie slammed me the hardest. The car rental company didn't want to accept a new credit card until I told him well, I am cancelling the one you have on file, so your choice. (sarcastic shrug) When I walked through security it started beeping and Tony actually laughed loudly enough I thought he would get pulled for questioning. Fucker. At least it was just a quick swab on my hands and waistband. We ended up having to check our...ha! MY carry on because the overhead bins were full. You'd think it was winter and people were traveling with coats or something. I was a little pissy because we had glasses from our trip to the brewery in there, and I definitely did not pack for checking it. I furiously wrote my nasty-gram to Norwegian while we waited. Anyway, I made it on the plane home which left only an hour late, but at least I had a great view from my window seat.
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Nellie HillJust a woman leaping outside her comfort zone and telling the tale. Archives
April 2024
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