I survived the 2022 school year!
Many teachers feel this way every year when summer begins, but this year was especially taxing and heavy for me. Probably most telling about my experience is that covid restrictions were absolutely the least of my concerns this school year, not really even a blip on the radar. But then again, it is also quite telling that when I opened a teacher computer to get it ready for the next user and her porn was still open in Chrome, I took a screen shot for my boss, laughed to myself, and then erased the computer. Just another day in the life of my shit show circus. I choose to believe that one day I will look back fondly...okay that might be slight exaggeration maybe I can shoot for any feeling less than abject horror... on my experience and the opportunity for growth presented to me, but for now, I am somewhat numb and simply relieved that it is over. As a matter of fact, June 21st, I came home and slept for roughly 16 hours. So far summer has been a mixed bag. Several years ago, I was diagnosed with actinic keratosis from sun exposure. My history with the sun is complicated. I am boiled chicken white, so of course, I burn first and ask questions later at the slightest hint of sunshine. There is no fade to tan, it's simply burn, fade, repeat. The easiest way to describe my photosensitivity, is that I am allergic to the sun. This means if I do get a sunburn, it turns into a painfully itchy rash that scabs over. Add to this, I am allergic to many sunscreens, however, I do not find out until the sunscreen reacts in the sun. ANYWAY, this brings us to the actinic keratosis. This is a form of sun damage that can turn into cancer, so it needs to be treated. The first time it was found, I had the spots frozen off. That is about as pleasant as slamming your fingers in a door. This time around, the doctor and I opted for a topical cream treatment. The idea is that you rub the cream on, it kills/inflames the cells, and then your face heals. At the same time, my doctor prescribed new face washes, moisturizer, and sunscreen. After using this combination treatment, my face rebelled and felt like it was melting off at best and in the worst times, even crying felt like acid running down my cheeks. My doctor says, it's so very, very rare, but you are having an allergic reaction. Like somehow that "this is rare" would make me feel better. FFS. However, given all the new stuff I put on my face, she advised that I let it heal and then try the treatment cream one more time without all the extra product. A week later, I can confirm I am allergic to the cream. What this means is that my face gets to heal from angry red and peeling skin once again. And seriously, fuck my life, this is so painful and obvious to everyone. One helpful student told me I needed new cream because they WERE NOT supposed to work like that and make my face look like that. When I go back for my checkup, if the cream treatment was ineffective I will face a new form of torture in which she will scrape the skin from the affected areas, apply a cream, and then use light to activate the cream. Cross your fingers these two periods of torment with the cream was enough. In April I applied to renew my skilled worker visa. While it was better than the first time, I will just say that my experience was #nellie as usual. My paperwork was in order, but when it came time to scan my fingerprints, the pad would not accept a group scan. I had to wash my hands and have my fingers scanned one at a time, twice for some. Then, a person's ears must be visible in their photograph. My hair was having none of that bullshit. After the third attempt, I actually tied my hair in a knot, like shoelaces, behind my head. Don't come at me for not having a hair tie because I left my bag in the car so as not to carry "unnecessary items" into the police station. During the fourth attempt at a photograph, a curl fell in front of my face, but the fifth attempt in which I look as amused as you can imagine, the police officer said, "good enough". A few days later, I got an email that stated they had recieved my information and would process as quickly as possible. Also, I could feel free to check their website for approximate wait times. I was overall satisfied with just my couple of hiccups in processing until I checked their website and found a FOUR MONTH WAIT TIME to get a decision. At this time, it is important to know two things, first, we are going to NYC in July and second, if I travel outside of Norway without my residence card, I can possibly be detained at the border while they confirm my residence status. Who am I kidding, it's me, right? I DO NOT want to cross the border without my card. After another few days, I received an email that said my application had been forwarded to UDI instead of being processed by the local police. My heart sunk, and immediately doubt about how my paperwork was completed along with the fact that I technically changed jobs from teacher to head of school had me gutted. Would I have to start over?? This letter did also state that if they took longer than a month to process my application that I would get an additional email. Fingers crossed! And of course, fingers crossed seemed to fail as I received the dreaded, "unfortunately it is taking longer than a month to process your application" letter. It is humorous to note that the email basically says, listen, don't call us because you are going to get fuck all new information. Most likely you will simply reach an exasperated employee that will have to tell you the same thing the letter says. THEN, surprisingly, two days after the extended processing email, I got an email that my permit was approved and I would just need to wait for a letter to tell me whether I would need to schedule a visit to the police again. My card arrived just a few days ago! Phew! New York, here we come without permit delays at least! I have lived in Norway for nearly three years now, which means that I am eligible to begin to apply for permanent residence. The major difference between my skilled work residence and permanent residence is that if I receive permanent residence, I would not be bound by my job in order to stay in the country. If I could prove that I can support myself, then I can have a job in any industry. As long as I am on a skilled worker visa, I must maintain employment in the area of my approved education in an equivalent job to teaching. In order to apply for permanent residence, not only do you have to have lived in the country for a certain amount of time, but you must prove that you are ready to integrate into society by taking an exam based on knowledge of Norwegian society as well as an exam to prove language proficiency. For the social studies test, you need to prove 75 hours of classroom instruction and then pass a social studies test, in your own language. For the Norwegian language test, you need to prove 250 hours of instruction and then pass all four portions of the language test, written, listening, speaking, and reading, at an A1 level. Honestly, after 250 hours of Norwegian instruction and only needing A1, it is basically like the Norwegian government saying, "Bless your heart." Now, to me, that amount of hours seems like a fuck ton of classroom time, especially when I could just marry NBF and skip over some requirements! Don't worry, I am not withholding information. I want my basis for being in this country to be my own merit. So, when I found out that you can apply for exemptions from the classroom time, I was all about that! However, in order to skip the classroom time, you are required to have greater proficiency than if you sit in the classroom. You must take the social studies test in Norwegian, and you must pass the four language tests at an A2 level. Also, these tests are only administered four times a year, so you really do need to do some planning. I applied to take the social studies test, and started studying. After talking with NBF, I decided I would give it a try in Norwegian. What was the worst that was going to happen? I was going to fail. Except, I didn't!! I passed the social studies test in Norwegian. Wow! If you are curious, you can look through a sample test here. First you click the red box which says take an example test, then you click the dark arrow which will take you to a page to choose the language and then see the questions. If by September I can pass A2 Norwegian, I will apply for my exemptions and then my residence. It is scary and exciting. Soon, vacation time will be upon us. In case I haven't mentioned it (read bragged about), Norway requires that all employees get vacation weeks during the year. It is common for a large section of society to all but close in July. NBF will take three of his weeks in July. We are going to take a trip to NYC with the kids which I am sure will inspire its own post. I am excited to see some places through their eyes and also to have the new experiences. More pressing in my mind though, is that soon we will begin remodeling our bedroom. I am excited that soon I will have an area I can retreat to. I think it became painfully obvious that I needed a place when I was taking Norwegian classes. During Norwegian class, the norm was that I started in NBF's office while the family ate dinner, but then had to move during my break from class so NBF could go to his evening classes. One particular evening, the kids weren't done chatting after dinner, so I couldn't use my desk which is in the corner of the combination room that is our kitchen, dining, and living rooms. I had to go sit in our bedroom on the bed to finish class. That really left me feeling like I didn't have a place that was, well, just mine. NBF has his office, and the bonus kids have their rooms. I am ever so thankful that NBF is willing to do what it takes to make me feel like this is OUR home. I am hopeful that this summer will be relaxing and help me to get re-centered and focused. As you can see, there has been some things worth celebrating. For now, though, I am off to have some fun with NBF being silly and playing Pokemon Go. Happy Summer, everyone!
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TL;DR I went to Scotland and took a lot of photos. (BTW...I know these go at the end, but I'm also not the type of person to make you read or scroll through my autobiography to find a goddamn chicken recipe either.) When I made the leap to move to Norway, one of the most exciting ideas for me was that I would be living close to a European capital city and therefore able to travel all over Europe much more quickly and cheaply than from the states. In fact, on a teacher's salary in Kansas, it took me a full two years to save for a trip to Europe. Although, I didn't get the job in the city closest to Gardermoen Airport, I was just a two hour train ride away. Cue COVID and a two year period of you are going to fuck all capitals in Europe. This is not to say that I didn't have a grand time touring Norway with NBF, but I still had that longing to travel more. In May, we had a long weekend due to a Norwegian holiday and a planning day at school. It was also just a couple of weeks after the two year anniversary of when NBF and I began dating, so what better reason to go somewhere? I have a huge list of places I would love to go, so I was really having trouble choosing. NBF is fairly well traveled, and I was also hoping to hit somewhere he wouldn't mind going back to but even better, somewhere he had never been. My original intention was to plan the trip and tell him, "Okay pack up we're going to the airport!" I chickened out with this approach though. He was actually really disappointed when I told him, so maybe I will do this in the future. How it really played out was I asked Bonus Kid for advice on where NBF might want to go, then I wrote the names of five cities on slips of paper and let NBF choose one at random. In the mix were London, Helsinki, Bergen, Edinburgh, and Dublin. When he drew the slip of paper, we found out we were going to Edinburgh. I am not sure if you know this about me, but I am frugal. I looked at the flight prices and chose based mostly on price. We would fly out on Thursday morning and then return Saturday afternoon. The other option was to return on Sunday at midnight (at a higher cost), and of course, then we would go to work on Monday. Thirty year old me would have jumped on that in a heartbeat. Older me enjoys sleep a little more. So I contentedly booked flights and chose a hotel. Then I made the decision that I would NOT obsessively plan this trip. I sent a few links to NBF for ideas, but I really reined in my inner planner. Okay, I hogtied my inner planner and locked her in the castle tower and was barely able to ignore the screaming, but I did it. It was nice to have NBF know about the trip, so that he could tell me things he was interested in doing. We talked about beer tours, bus tours, and major attractions, but in the back of my mind was a voice saying, "take the trip!" Last summer when I visited AB, we had a talk about all the things we save for special occasions or things we avoid because of what boils down to excuses. After a little reflection, I decided to extend our trip and spend the extra two days in Scotland. We left on Thursday morning knowing only the flights, hotel, and that we had a beer tour and countryside tour booked. Other than that, it was up to us to fill four days when we arrived. (Told you she was in the castle tower!) Our hotel was near the center of the Royal Mile, and judging by all the places we saw, there would be no difficulty in filling all the days. Both of us were simply fascinated soaking up the sights as we rode the bus from the airport to the city center. We spent no time in finding our hotel to drop off our bags so we could explore. This choice enlightened us to the uphill climb we would face getting to our hotel! I believe all told, we tried five different routes up the hill, but none of them were any less easy on the thighs. Thursday afternoon alone we racked up 10 kilometers and 58 flights worth of climb. Our big discovery of Thursday is that you can pack a hamburger to the consistency of brick. The flavor of Scottish beef reminded me of Kansas, but a knife wasn't even cutting the patty. I was brave and ordered a burger with deep fried haggis on top. The burger was massive and it looked fantastic but was somewhat disappointing. Thursday was a whirlwind of walking and snapping photos. I saw a bagpipe player which was, let's just say, novel...the first time. Although, I will say on Sunday I heard a bagpipe playing dueting with a banjo for folk music, and I could easily have listened for much longer. Edinburgh is built on a hill and is an old city fortified against attack. You can see the layers of the city, old and new, as well as remnants of where walls used to be. The view from atop Calton Hill was stunning. Two pubs we visited were celebrated for authors that lived in Edinburgh at one point in their lives, Arthur Conan Doyle and JK Rowling. We returned to the hotel early in the evening exhausted but satisfied we had spent our first day well. Friday was reserved for our bus tour. This was a piece of the trip that we booked in advance. We left the city at 8:00 and returned at half nine that evening. It was indeed a fast and furious trip but there was just so much to see along the way. Our tour company was called The Hairy Coo, and NBF will gladly show you his favorite photo of the day which is me in the bus beside the sign that says, "Honk if you're horny!" Men...sigh, but it is funny. Before we could really get into full tour mode, we made our first stop of the day for a snack and toilet break. It was here I regret to inform you, dear reader, that I was affected by a #nellie moment. I was the last one to get into the restroom, so I was in a bit of a rush. Somehow, my zipper grabbed my underwear on the way down or up, I don't know, except that it was fucking stuck. I tried a couple of more times and then thought, the panties are thin, surely I can tug them out. I did succeed in this method leaving a hole in the front of my underwear along with the zipper's slider. You guessed it, I could not zip my pants...THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY! Thank goodness I wore a hoodie, so I just had to be sure to adjust the front, obsessively, while my helpful man just giggled...THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY! Our tour guide was seasoned, and you could tell he had made the trip many times. He still maintained an enthusiasm and humor which made the day pass even more quickly. At one point, he informed us that we could travel to Norway and see the hairy coos because the vikings had come over and taken all their beautiful women and cows. Cue NBF from the back, "THAT'S HOW WE DO IT!" Can't take this man anywhere. 😳 The highlands were gorgeous, and we stopped at war memorials, viewpoints, and even tried whiskey ice cream. Our boat tour of Loch Ness was definitely a highlight. The guide was funny and informative. We even spotted Nessie! When we got back to the city, it was a tough find for dinner because there was a marathon being run this weekend, but we went to a place called the Whiski Room and had a really good meal that tamed hangry Nellie. Again, the beef was amazingly flavored, and tender this time, but unseasoned...not even salt. I have to admit, this is the closest to Kansas beef I've had on this side of the ocean...even if they need to be taught seasoning. Saturday was spent touring again. Fitbit claims to the tune of 15 kilometers and 58 floors. There is just so much to explore! We had booked a beer tour for a couple of hours in the afternoon, and building on our experiences after our bus tour, booked a table at the Hard Rock for after the tour. One of my favorite places of the day was a park at the foot of the castle hill where Ross Fountain lies. There we found a monument to lost babies that I found touching, as well as a connection to Norway. There is a rock that was given as a token of friendship between troops during WWII. The park was busily being prepared for the Queen's platinum jubilee as well. It was a fortuitous time to visit. When I bought the ticket for the beer tour, it was strictly in support of NBF's love of beer. I was hoping to learn something and of course, hoping NBF would have a really good time. Again, we were not disappointed with the amount of learning we did. I was suprised to learn the huge role women played in the development of the beer industry. We visited the dank passages of old time breweries as well as modern breweries. I had to giggle every time the guide asked what I thought of the beer. Um...it's...beer? The last place we stopped, it was his turn to giggle because I actually found a beer I liked. Believe me, I am just as stunned as the next person. Our dinner that evening was great, and that is where I got what is probably one of my favorite photos of the trip. NBF wanted another beer to drink while I finished my cider. The glass they brought him was....well, just check out the photo. We spent our evening sitting on the Royal Mile people watching and planning for our last day before deciding it was indeed a wrap. Sunday, our last day, we barely raked in 8.5 kilometers, but in fairness, we were in a bus for some of the day doing the hop on, hop off tours. Both of us were understandably tired...especially looking back knowing that NBF decided COVID was a souvenir he wanted to bring home. We began our day with a tour of Edinburgh castle. The view from the top was unbelievable, but absolutely perfect for the protection of a castle. Not to mention, there is so much history there. One of the most interesting parts was the Scottish National War Memorial. You are not allowed to take photographs, so you will have to go see for yourself, but the reverence and homage had me awestruck. There are stained glass murals, flags that are threadbare, and books listing all those who served in each campaign the Scottish were involved in. We toured the dungeons and saw wooden doors that prisoners carved information into. There were even American prisoners of war from the American War for Independence. There was a cannon there that could launch nearly four hundred pounds a distance of two miles! I believe we stayed around two hours taking it all in. For lunch we went to an "American Pizza" restaurant. I was taken aback when I saw pomegranates, potatoes, and haggis on the toppings list but alas, they also serve rockets on top, so I guess...fuck yeah, 'murika? Don't get me wrong, the food was pretty good, but it is enlightening to see America through the eyes of other cultures. Our last big stop of the trip was to the Department of Magic. Of course, I ordered butterbeer, and NBF ordered a mix it yourself herbology potion. There were vials and and instructions. It was so fun to watch him being so serious and following the instructions. There are many Harry Potter inspired activities in Edinburgh, but we decided the kids might not let us come home if we got too carried away. Even if I do plan to ride the Hogwarts Express one day, with or without company! One more hop on, hop off and a trip to the hotel to grab our bags, and we were done. Time passed amazingly quickly that last day, and too soon we were on our way to the airport to endure #nellie type luck with a delayed flight and restaurant issues. Even the ever patient NBF was fed up with the restaurant app not working and being told we would have to move in fifteen minutes whether we had food or not. When we finally got on our way, I couldn't sleep for my racing mind and the emotion of knowing my travel journeys were actually coming to life. Even at the late hour, NBF drove us home, and Monday arrived whether two and a half hours of sleep was enough or not. So, so worth it. I can't wait for the next adventure. |
Nellie HillJust a woman leaping outside her comfort zone and telling the tale. Archives
April 2024
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