Can you see the peace in her face? When I look at this picture I am struck by how profound this woman's love is for me. Even in this goodbye, she is giving me memories to cling to when darker times come.
For some time now, I've gotten to live in a sort of cancer denial limbo. AB has terminal cancer. I know this. My brain has done the math and the absolute value of zero percent chance of remission is zero. My heart, however, has embraced her positive response to treatment with her overall health through the last year and coupled it with her remission last time leaving me to cover the big white elephant in the room with a beautiful cloth and pretend it is a side table. Of course it started very seriously. She sent Tony a photo of a butterfly to show me. From the very moment I glimpsed that photo, my mind knew. It was obvious when she lost her hair from the chemo treatment that the final battle of this war had begun. There was no denial then. When she decided to stop chemo to switch treatments, again reality came swinging. She was making a choice for quality of life, and it that was necessary. But the entire time, she has had this attitude of peace and somehow even managed to become an even better caretaker than before. I mean there was so much banana bread in her house, I could smell it from here. The new treatment didn't leave her drained and a shell of herself. Quite the opposite, she hosted grandkids and made regular runs in her Kubota to visit the town. Everyone in Scandia knows the Kubota just the same as everyone that rides it knows it is your duty to wave because, "The world needs more kindness and it starts with us. This is our home and we need to live how we want it to be." When I went to the states over the summer, I lived with AB for a little over a month. We did what we damned well pleased. I took the "Miss Kansas tour" of Scandia where I waved to everyone and was introduced as "my niece from Norway, the country, not the town". I heard stories of the town circling around her, embracing her. There were stories of shared food, long visits, running garage sales, just the small town Kansas you expect. AB makes everyone feel seen, and I got to see that in action. But in my mind, I thought the see you later from this trip was really a goodbye. But then, I was sharing my summer vacation and my new school with her. She was my cheerleader and got a sneak peek at the building. I shared struggles with my job and living with NBF. I shared victories and heard stories of grandwees and love. I even got to plan the dream trip I was convinced wouldn't happen...AB was going to meet NBF! We continued our early morning conversations and of course analyzing my life and growth. I started to practice having hard conversations with myself to see how close I was before I spoke to her. I started to work on building other relationships that are important for me to maintain, and that, quite frankly, I haven't pushed my full self into. I worked on healing the broken bits I am still finding. All the while, unconsciously letting the denial hold on a little tighter. You have to know, though, all of this practice and work was never about distancing myself from AB. It was about insulating myself for the loss. Read that again....FOR the loss, not FROM. I was and am determined to wrap myself in her love, self love, and the love of my family so that when she is no longer here, I have a softer place to land. There is no doubt this is going to shake my world, and I will struggle...A LOT. For now though, I will wring every drop of AB from this relationship...her words, love, photos, memories...until the very last minute just as I will continue to pour myself into the relationship. I know the doubt and lingering feelings that accompany losing someone where there are things left unsaid and there is distance, and I can absolutely guarantee there are not unsaid things between us. And now, the cloth is pulled away. The elephant is not only standing in front of me, it is trumpeting the truth. AB has entered hospice care and has denied further treatment. She is determined to live her best AB life, and why shouldn't she. When she told me she had decided against the chemo pills, I simultaneously felt how embedded the denial was and yet how ready I was to hear the decision. Later she would apologize for practicing on me, but what an honor to be trusted enough to be a place she wasn't afraid to falter. This is something she has done an amazing job of modeling. While she is someone that many family members look up to, she shares her human, fallible self. This is as important for the next generation to learn as the relationship skills and compassion she possesses. Often in families, someone is seen as somehow on a pedestal because they transcend the patterns of the family or because of how they interact and manage to maintain so many relationships. Her dad was one of those people. So is her brother. While she has accepted that not only was her dad human but that she could be an equal to him, I don't think UJ has. It's scary to compare yourself to your hero and find out you took his lessons and ran with them to greater heights. Perhaps that is a story for another time. One final reflection before I close this update. The above picture was taken when I was saying goodbye to AB. The conversation was intense and personal but I will share one piece. Right before NBF snapped the photo, she pushed a crystal heart into my hand and wrapped my fingers around it. She said, "When you miss me, you hold this heart like this, close to your heart." Then she wrapped her arms around me and continued, "Then you imagine my arms around you, and you lean into that love." And I held that hug and really felt it and tried to memorize every detail until I was calm enough to exhale. "Yes, just like that. I love you." I felt and heard my Gramma in that hug. In that moment I felt the continuation of the love that was planted generations ago but has only begun to really blossom under the intense care of family members like AB. When I look at the photo of us, I can see her in me, and I know that her values and spirit live on in those who chose to learn...that even when she is not with us, she really will be. That is her legacy of love. But for now, AB, you better keep running inside when the vultures come. I love you on purpose.
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Seeing your home through someone else's eyes is an experience I would recommend for everyone, especially if that someone is curious like NBF. For a week, I answered questions and explained my views on life in Kansas and explored known places through new eyes. NBF is the kind of traveler I aspire to be. While I embrace curiosity and new experiences, I want it to happen on my timeline. You can see the issue with that, right? NBF is happy to sip beer and chat OUTSIDE OF SECURITY before the flight. He eagerly grasps any opportunity for an hour and a half driving detour or to talk to people. While I am not quite sure what I feel I was missing out on, (except the comfort of being inside security and having one less possible delay) I am going to be more intentional about leaning into him on this because I really do trust him. Who knows, maybe my #nellie luck will change if he leads the way for travel. Where do I even start with his observations about Kansas? Perhaps the thing that stood out the most to him was how absolutely rural and poor some areas of Kansas are. BAH had made a joke one time about southwest Kansas being a place where you could watch your dog run away for a week, and NBF has laughed about it on and off ever since. Seeing it for himself was something else altogether. He remarked how he would never be able to capture in a photo how far you can actually see when you look out toward the horizon. He marveled at the expansive horizon and agreed we could see much more of the sky than in many places in Norway where mountains steal the view. For all the beautiful sunsets and unreachable horizons, Kansas definitely has areas of poverty and decay. It blew NBF's mind to know that we could buy a whole ass house for half the amount we could buy a Norwegian cabin...without plumbing and electricity. He even pondered aloud about owning a summer home in Kansas. I'll wait for him to experience July in Kansas before we take that particular conversation anywhere. We chatted for many miles about dying towns and job opportunities. I fielded an endless stream of questions and had to think about Kansas in a way I hadn't before. He was absolutely mesmerized with the old looking farms and windmills. He was intent on capturing a hawk in photo as well, and I told him well, I can promise you'll see hawks but not Tony Hawk. To which he replied, any hawk I capture is a "Tony Hawk". (insert visible eye roll and intense giggling) We searched for a long time and actually doubled back to get the perfect photo with a windmill AND a Tony Hawk. I can remember he took the time to explain how this view is probably something most people in Kansas think is ugly or don't appreciate because these windmills are everywhere but he thinks Norwegians would find it interesting. The same near apologetic tone accompanied photos of fire hydrants, mailboxes, and billboards about abortion. This made me wonder how many ordinary things I have pointed out to him with great excitement, yet I felt a bit disappointed he thought he needed to temper his enthusiasm. I do enjoy those scenes, and I also understand how we begin to take things we see everyday for granted. One of the things I was really excited to do when I came to Norway and traveled with NBF was to take photos with city signs to document the places I had been. NBF was accommodating trying to find the signs for me, but here most of them are just a blue sign with the town name in white lettering. It was a real treat to show him some of the signs that gave me the idea. NBF now has a much greater appreciation for why I thought it would be so spectacular to get the diary of city signs. He was able to collect some memorable ones, like the Norway, Kansas sign. He also had no idea he would get such an international tour going through Cuba, Norway, Lebanon, and Scandia. Probably the one he will never forget is Ebenezer. Across the road from the Ebenezer sign and church is what can only be called a "Trump Corner" There were flags and billboards exclaiming election fraud, trampled rights, and of course, the dog whistle, "Let's Go Brandon". As Tony was attempting to capture a shot of the corner to show off at home, a woman drove by, rolled down her window, and screamed, "Beautiful sight, isn't it?!" I am not sure he has stopped laughing about that. We won't go down the rabbit hole of politics except to say that as a European, he has profoundly different experiences, values, and views. It isn't only seeing though, it is the entirety of the experiences. Everything from the campus tour to meeting my family gave him endless material for conversation and photos. While I don't share his propensity for random conversations with strangers, I love to watch him engage with people. He spoke with a homeless man in Wichita, a random woman in Scandia, and my favorite, a duck hunter at Lovewell Lake. We pulled into the lake to see a man with his pants down and shirt up pissing by his truck. Tony promptly said, "I am going to talk to these guys. Do you mind?" Uhhh....nope but you're going alone. I have seen as much as I need to.
Christmas soup at AB's house was one of the experiences NBF cherished the most. Unlike a typical Norwegian dinner where everyone sits at a place, this was every adult for themselves. I think the opportunity to sit anywhere and with anyone made NBF beam. I am almost certain he sat with everyone including the kids. He ate more than I have ever seen him eat in a day, and I am quite sure the smile never left his face. At one point he was offered pecan pie. Now mind you, we have had MANY conversations at home about how sweet American food is in general. MM says, "This pie is really sweet. Would you like to try it?" Without batting an eye he says, of course. WAIT...do you know what it means when an American says something is really sweet? Are you sure?? HE LOVED IT. He even asked if I can make it at home. He was so comfortable, I left him alone in the pack so I could go where it was a little quieter. He actually came searching for me, and I apologized for how loud my family was. He says, "yeah, I think you are the quiet one, but I love this. They are such neat people." As I have said before, he was absolutely at home speaking with all of my family. I was somewhat surprised with the warm goodbyes he received from them. Not that my family is anything but loud and loving, it was clear to see no one had reservations about NBF being the newest family member. This includes the BAHs. When we were leaving, BAH says...how is this goodbye gonna work? NBF says, we're saying goodbye like men. And they all hugged. My heart y'all. BAHs later confirmed they approve and asked if the intense eye contact and dead on pegging of a personality is a Norwegian trait or an NBF special. BAHs got to spend a little more time getting to know NBF when we went to my favorite restaurant in Salina, Daimaru. NBF had never had sushi, so this was a treat. To start, he was disappointed that they only had bottle beer and no draft, but he quickly moved on to shock when asked if he wanted water with his beer. I've been away long enough to forget this American custom. "I ordered beer. Why would I want water?!" When they brought his soup, he promptly stuck his nose down to smell it and exclaimed, "I didn't order any water." "It's soup." "What the hell kind of soup is this? It looks like dishwater...with ONE mushroom slice and grass onions." Fun fact about NBF, chives (grass onions, gressløk) is about the only English word he consistently cannot grab from his brain. Starting to wonder who the loud American tourist really is in this family. He dug into his food and really enjoyed the conversation. I fed him his first piece of sushi and he disappointedly said....this tastes like Norway. I started him on a simple salmon roll, but he moved on and I think enjoyed himself. When I took the bill, he says, "Is that for all the food and drinks? I can hardly believe that." Just for reference, you are not going to this level of a restaurant in Norway and feeding five people complete with drinks for the $160 I paid. I can remember BAH and I spent almost $100 on a good but not Daimaru quality meal. We finished the meal by stopping for ice cream and while I did not go into the store with him, he came out grinning like a child with his double scoop ice cream. While that was probably my favorite meal, one of my favorite memories is wound around another restaurant. NBF had never been to a Sonic. We stopped one morning and I ordered us coffee and I ordered us a pretzel stick to split. Kansans know Sonic is greasy but fast. The next time we stopped NBF was driving. I told him he HAD to get a corn dog. We had discussed this at home, and he was shocked to learn a corn dog did not have corn inside of it. We sit there so he can read the menu. And we sit there....and sit there. Do you know what you want? Yeah. You need to push the red button. THEY DON'T JUST TALK TO ME?? I'VE BEEN WAITING. When they do finally answer and he tries to order, they end up having to come outside to take our order. He is half offended when he asks if his English is THAT bad. When the car hop comes outside he orders my soda and pretzel then his corndog. At the last minute he decides to order a drink. "I want to try the cranberry limeade." When he is asked what size he says, "Give me the very (and I see the car hop shaking her head knowingly until he speaks and her face contorts to comprehend) SMALLEST size you have." My how I wish he had ordered the largest just to see HIS face. The struggle continues when he tries to pay too early and then doesn't swipe his card fast enough. I am just sure he is not going to have fond memories of Sonic, but then, the corndog arrives. I actually have a video of him exclaiming, "COOORN DOOG!" before taking a big ol bite. The satisfaction is real. I think I sent it to everyone I know. There are so many more experiences I could describe, and I find myself struggling to pare down the list so this blog post isn't a novel. At least he is sharing my struggle trying to pare the pictures down to a manageable post amount. There was a shopping trip for Kansas beer and a bottle of Kansas reserve whiskey brought back for his step dad. He trespassed for photos and drove down the highway in reverse. There was laughter, memories, tough goodbyes, and so much love. We bonded over sharing my homeland and family. We planned for our return. The trip was everything I wished it would be even if we didn't do everything I dreamed we would do. When I asked him if he wanted to buy a souvenir to take home, he said he already has the best souvenir Kansas has to offer. In my opinion, the best souvenir/gift of the trip was a digital picture frame NBF got from AB for Christmas. We've talked at length about him displaying more of his photography work at home, and I had shared this with AB. This gift was perfect! He set it up the day after we got back and added photos of all of our kids. There are scenes from Kansas and Norway. There are photos that tug at my heart, and some that remind me of the little things. I am not sure who loves this gift more because I relish seeing what he sees even if it means I need to look at myself with new eyes as well. Below is what he calls one of, if not his favorite, photo of the trip. AB and I hopped in her Kubota to go downtown. He got a good chuckle and just loved watching us speed away. As Pusheen the cat says, "Toodaloo Motherfuckers!" TL;DR This is a short summary of what we did on our trip. The next two installments will be an AB update and an NBF view of Kansas.
In what I consider to be a major accomplishment, the first two days of the trip were the only ones I planned out. Teachers are planners, we can't help it. In my mind, NBF and I were to meet my boys when we landed at 6 pm and spend the evening with them. We would have breakfast, go visit AB at the cancer clinic, and then travel to Wichita to see an old friend and then celebrate Christmas with UJ. It was going to be a perfect start....But in true #nellie fashion, that was blown to hell in Newark. We arrived in Kansas after midnight, and BAH showed up to drive us to his place relishing his turn at saying, "You absolutely will not be staying at a hotel when I have a perfectly good bed for you." Cue day 2! Before we even arrived in Kansas, I had told NBF about how BAH get irritated because he firmly believes his dog, Logan, can recognize his own name. Others in the family think the dog might answer to anything, so I began calling the dog Joe Rogan. The dog happily wags his tail and comes to me, so I will continue to call him Joe. I think BAH just accepts that he has no control over this situation now. Our first morning at BAH's when I get ready to step in the shower I hear BAH come upstairs and the tapping of little nails and then NBF says, "JOE ROGAN!" This man understood the assignment. I come out of the bathroom to see BAH and NBF chatting, drinking coffee, and watching videos. One of NBF's requests was to eat at a hometown diner that really was off the beaten path...a place that locals would eat..not a chain restaurant. I don't have the heart to tell him Kansas IS off the beaten path...like way off. BAH chooses the restaurant for breakfast, and it is perfectly hometown. We went to a cafe called the Early Edition in Manhattan. For those that know, the orders are still written on the green and white lined perforated pads. We're looking over the menu and NBF decides he wants to order an omelet. PSHT...you can get an omelet at home. So, I point out a "real Kansas breakfast" and he decides to trust me. The size of his eyes almost matched the skillet his breakfast of chicken fried steak, eggs, potatoes, and veggies was served in. He stares for a minute before he regains enough composure to ask what the gravy is that is sloshed on top of the whole thing before snapping this colossal meal to his story. To his credit he was able to eat half the skillet, but he didn't eat again that day. We went back to BAH to visit a bit more before packing up to head to AB's house. I ask him before we go if he wants to get a coffee or drink before we go, but he says no and looks at me quizzically. We go on a real international tour of Kansas going through Cuba and Norway before hitting Scandia. I promise to take him to Lebanon later. He is busy capturing photos and looking over the landscape, when he says, "Now I see why BAH says it. I could watch my dog run away for days here." There are bouts of questions, silence, and head swivelling. I think I am having as much fun watching him as he is watching the Kansas scenery. One of the most amazing things I noticed about NBF is that he is at home talking to anyone. The only friends he doesn't have are the ones he hasn't met yet. When we got to AB's, he settled right in with coffee and conversation. UB even put his hearing aids in to join the conversation. For those of you who don't know AB's grumpier half, he is a man of few words and even fewer fucks to give. He calls kids assholes and they answer. When I told BAH about the hearing aids, he put his hand on mine and asked, "Is UB dying?" But UB took a liking to NBF, so in our family, that is momentous. The highest praise, though, was AB telling me NBF knew how to hug. Before we leave, AB asks if we want a drink to go, and of course, Tony says no thank you and looks to me for an answer. The next day, the BAHs and NBF are laughing and chatting and having a good time. So comfortable they are that at one point in our trip NBF went for a walk with one BAH without me. I listen as NBF explains his Christmas gift to the boys, knowing that not only did he choose a uniquely Norwegian brand, he drove an hour and a half to a friend's shop (who waited open for him to arrive) to purchase these leather, branded wallets in the color he wanted for each boy instead of settling for the same one. It flashes through my mind how BAH worried aloud just days ago that it might be really awkward actually meeting NBF. None of them seemed uncomfortable at all and this makes my heart smile. Leaving later than we intended, NBF and I took an evening ride to Wichita to meet UJ and family and squeezed in a bonus walk to the Keeper of the Plains. Before we left, I again asked if he wanted a drink for the road. He asked, "How long is this trip?" "About two and a half hours, unless you stop for photos, then longer." "Okay, I am starting to understand why you ask if I want something to drink before we go. There aren't so many places to stop along the way." "haha Nope!" UJ's house was full to the brim with laughter and love. Both of his daughters and their families were there....which meant 7 total dogs on top of 8 people. We had a great time laughing and telling stories. UJ got a digital picture frame that you can email photos for display. Some of us were not invited to contribute after making remarks about sending photos that left the receiver to decide whether it was a nipple or a wart. His loss. HA! The walk along the river to see the Keeper was well worth the time as NBF has a soft spot for all things Native American. He captured some really great photographs as well. I just wish we had made it while the fire ring was burning. After checking in with UJ and arranging to come to breakfast, we retired to a hotel room we were too exhausted to enjoy. Funny side note, the clerk upon hearing Norway as my address said, "Norway, huh? I can hardly hear your accent." FFS! We went back to ABs where the day after Christmas found us heading out on another adventure before joining the family for dinner. We traveled to the geographic center of the contiguous United States. Of course, it is not much more than a limestone marker and a chapel, but NBF thought it was fantastic. Even if he was more than disappointed there were no cafes open in the nearest town, Lebanon, ...population 252. And of course, there was no coffee to be had on the drive home either. This led him to explain how he no longer thought we lived a in a "rural" area in Norway because there is just a lot of nothing for a lot of miles in Kansas. The return to AB's was later than we thought, so the entire house was packed by the time we arrived. There were more hugs and laughter and conversation all of which NBF soaked up. You wouldn't guess he was a brand new member of the family as he wandered from conversation to conversation. A family meal at AB's means the kids get served at the table and the adults are on their own to serve and find a place to eat. Some of us eat with the kids, and some of us watch football while we eat. It also means there will be enough food for twice as many people as attend. The point is, you fend for yourself after the age of 13. Of course, adaptable NBF sat down to try everything and learn about American football. In all the craziness, I could see he was still smiling and asking questions. The highlight of my day was when Zach the Man said, "Hey Nellie...I really like Tony." The remainder of our visit was a flurry of packing, shopping, visiting, and hugs. There were a few more short road trips, more family visits, a booster vaccine for me, and some really hard see you laters. We did have a short shopping list to fulfill if we wanted to show our faces at home and luckily we were able to snag the requested Strawberry Kiwi Arizona. Surprisingly, NBF wasn't scared off and is actually looking forward to another trip to Kansas. Our return trip to Norway was nowhere near as action packed or stressful as the trip to the states. The only hangups were COVID testing and cleaning snow off the car. I drifted off to sleep leaned against him looking at the photos he took along the way and thinking how wonderful it is to share home with him. I have been biting my lip for a couple of months now and this will have a to a short series. I finally got to take NBF to the states!! What a way to end what has been a less than stellar year.
Obviously, we were unsure we would even be able to travel until we were actually on the plane, so we only let a couple of people know. Our thinking was it was better to only disappoint a couple of people if we did have to cancel. In November, the United States opened travel for European citizens, but with the new variant, we were afraid there would be a snafu somewhere along the line. Wednesday, December 22nd, we arrived at the Oslo Airport to begin our adventure. While his hopeful optimism stayed intact, I have traveled with me before. While we waited in line to check our bags, it began. Buckle in because this is a wild (and long) ride to Kansas! SAS in all their wisdom decided to open only business class check in, so a lot of us were standing and waiting patiently for when economy customers could be squeezed in. About half an hour into this process, the attendants inexplicably switched windows, and finally one of them realized they were all only processing business customers. Check in finished with me being handed a boarding pass with the four S special! I get to have random security screening. When we are going through security, my backpack is randomly pulled for a drug swab, but to the credit of Norwegian hospitality, the woman asked nicely to open the bag. The special security screening was equally easy as the man was curious about the United States. He had a ton of questions and we laughed through the situation. Then I went to sit with NBF for an unplanned delay. SAS never gave us notification. We were just late. By the time we boarded and went to deicing, which the pilot blamed for the delay, we were already over an hour and a half delayed. As we take off, I know there is no way we will catch our next flight. We only had a two hour layover at the Newark airport. In my mind, I decided this was a minor setback, we will just get reassigned a flight and be on our merry way. I even checked and there was a flight at 8:30 in the evening. We would arrive before three, this would work out just fine. Besides, I am traveling to the states with NBF. How I could ignore #nellie, I do not know. We arrive at Newark as our next flight is taking off, but even as we wade through passport control, there is no notification about a new flight. No big deal, right?...we can find the SAS service desk when we are finished. An hour later, NBF, who is still in a line for non US citizens sends me an sms asking about the luggage. I am on my way to get it as I have JUST cleared passport control. He gets to wait another fifteen minutes and then explain why his partner has the declaration form, why his partner is not in line with him, and of course, complete the form for himself. Thank goodness he is stubborn and refused to go to the back of the line as he was told. Can you imagine starting over for a slip of paper that takes two minutes to complete? Reunited once again, we make our way to the SAS service desk to get rebooked. In all their wisdom, SAS assigned a grand total of ONE representative to rebook a full flight. We waited for 45 minutes in this line to get new boarding passes. Instead of getting new passes, she wrote on the back of one and sent us on our way. I was skeptical, but who am I to argue with this poor overworked woman? On the train to the next terminal, we noted with light hearts how it looked like it was about three in the afternoon at home but was actually 5:45. We then realized we had been in Newark for three hours. When we arrive downstairs to begin processing, I can only equate it to a cattle yard. There were zigzagging paths through the room that we had to follow to accomplish anything. Dropping our baggage was the last part of this trip that would go smoothly. After that five minute task, we were herded to the security line. The line looked long, but here we go! Not far into the line, NBF stops to help a man that has entered the main entrance...which is right in the middle of the security line for some reason. NBF is opening the nylon straps and helping him to get untangled, meanwhile, I am moving along...alone...without my boarding pass. I was not pleased as I assumed someone would ask for it soon. NBF happily smiles and then waves the boarding passes at me when he is finished helping. I tell him to get his ass caught up to me because he has left his anxious girlfriend ALONE! What the hell was he thinking? As a matter of fact, he was thinking if people didn't give kindness, it wouldn't exist in the world. Nice sentiment, but do that on your own time when you don't have MY paperwork. HA! Had I known the wait we were in for, I wouldn't have stressed at all. This security line was two floors long! There was even a fucking escalator in the middle of it. I loathe and fear escalators. I am just now able to ride them without visibly shaking. I am in hell and riding and escalator to the next level. Just when you feel like you are going to get to the end and breach the top of the escalator you are greeted with the same scene as the last floor, more miles of line. To complete the scene, about every 50 feet or so, there was another worker yelling and clapping at people to "keep moving" or "don't stop there". We arrived at the security gate about an hour later. I am seriously thinking we are going to miss our 8:30 flight! At the gate, the officer tells me my boarding pass won't work. I assure her the representative wrote new information on the back, so they should work. She tells me to step out of line and she will get a supervisor. TWENTY MINUTES LATER. The supervisor looks at my boarding pass and says, yeah you need to get a new one printed. Downstairs. Where you came from. The problem she explained was that since I was pulled for special security, if I used this boarding pass, I would be pulled again. I asked if I could just submit to security again instead of starting over, and she says going after a new boarding pass will be much faster than the security check mentioning how we just waited for 20 minutes for a supervisor. Faster than waiting in the two floor escalator security line??? Fuck me to tears, I have to ride the escalator again?! The agent escorting us out of security tells us to find an agent and then we can come back to her. We had just watched another family get escorted to the front of the line, so we had no reason to doubt her....except that there were thousands of people here and #nellie. SO...we go back downstairs. The agent we find to help us is irritated that we are asking her to print boarding passes when we can clearly use the self printing machines ourselves. She tries unsuccessfully three times including an attempt with NBF scanning his passport but every time it says, "See an agent". Finally, she relents and we follow her to her computer where she says she can fix the issue. She could not fix the issue. She instructed us to go to customer service. Customer service turns out to be yet another cattle herding opportunity that is hidden as far as you can get from the security line. Before we leave, NBF asks the agent if we can have her take us at least to the escalator in the middle of the security line, she responds, "We don't allow people to skip in line." Off we stomp to customer service where we notice many of the same people waiting in line as were in front of us in the SAS line to get rebooked. I am beside myself because we are going to be cutting it close after we wait in the security line again. I am truly afraid we will be spending the night at the airport. No tears spilled but plenty welled up. The customer service experience begins with a man screaming and yelling at the customer service reps and into his phone about the "fucking bullshit" he's had to endure. I feel ya man...right up to the moment where he grabbed his bag by the handle and started to helicopter it. I was just hoping he didn't launch it at the line. At this point, I cannot handle the anxiety any longer. I tell NBF that I am booking new tickets and we can sort it after we get home. He insists this is their mistake, and they need to fix it. He even asks me, "What's the worst that can happen, Nellie?" Um...this is pretty much it!! We end up spending the night here and having to take a flight tomorrow!! He and I come to an impasse. While I absolutely agree with his logic and thinking, I know mentally, I am not prepared to fight this fight tonight let alone face the reality that I might not hug my kid tonight. Meanwhile, the line has not moved in the last twenty minutes. I tell him, "If I can buy a flight and print boarding passes before you get to customer service, I am going to do it." He takes a long look at my face and simply says, "It is a lot of money and I would not do it, but it is your money, so you decide." I buy new tickets and go wait in line to print boarding passes for us. By the time I return, the line has moved exactly one customer. Back to security! Once again we are herded and crowded through the back and forth maze, up the escalator, and back and forth again. We get a message our flight is delayed, but honestly this is great news because we would be rushing to reach our flight. At the security gate, the man is eyeing NBF's passport. I am holding my breath until he finally hands it back to NBF. Apparently no self respecting Norwegian goes to Kansas willingly. We get through security and enter an alternate universe. This clean, quiet place cannot be the same airport! We get another notification that our flight has been delayed another half an hour, so we decide we have plenty of time to relax, eat, and have a beer. All of the dining establishments are run utilizing iPads for customers to order. We order food and beer and settle in for our now two and a half hour wait....laughing about how we would be rushing to the gate if the flight was still leaving at 8:30. The beers arrive and we get another delay notification. No big deal, right? (Like I am actually convincing myself by saying NBD, but I keep at it) We'll have two beers. When the food comes, the server brings NBF's food and looks at me and says, "We don't have calamari. We credited your ticket." Then she leaves. What in the actual fuck? We waited there for thirty minutes with an iPad, that was prompting me to order another drink but somehow couldn't be used to notify me to choose differently? Alright fine. I will go find something to eat, and in the meantime, our phones are buzzing with delay after delay. I message BAH and ask what his cutoff for pick up is because we are going to be LATE. He says no worries, I'll nap. Folks, we left the airport at 11:30. We were there for NINE FUCKING HOURS most of it spent waiting in lines. Before we could board plane, the gate agent told us she had to reprint our boarding passes. This is what I consider to be the parting "fuck you in particular Nellie Hill" moment. JUST WHY? Because of course NBF's pass prints just fine, but she has to do a couple of minutes typing in the computer to get mine to print. Seriously, fuck SAS, fuck United, and fuck Newark airport. I prepare myself to say it will be a cold day in hell before I go through Newark again, but I would seriously take my chances ice skating instead. I tell NBF he probably wouldn't believe me if I came home telling this story, and he says in his usual sass, "Oh, I'd believe you but I can tell you I would sure rather be listening to you tell it than living it with you." Poor guy...doesn't know what he's gotten himself into. Now he has to meet my family!! |
Nellie HillJust a woman leaping outside her comfort zone and telling the tale. Archives
April 2024
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