Since returning from the states, life has been whizzing by before my eyes. Everyone knows how teachers "get summers off", and this year is no exception. I came back from my trip to the states with a plateful of tasks to accomplish. As most of you know, I accepted a head of school position at the new school for our family of schools. The school was not officially cleared for opening until I had been in the states for some time, so I had emptied my apartment and traveled to the states as a technically homeless person finishing a school year filled with uncertainty. Once the school was authorized for opening, I had my work cut out for me. Upon returning to Norway, I needed to take International Baccalaureate certification for my position as Head of School. This workshop was run on Atlanta time, so once again I was straddling the time zones, but let me tell you, it is much easier to balance USA time in Norway than the other way around. Three days and 18 hours later, I am certified for my position. At the same time, since I am technically a new employee in Norway, I have to meet their tightened 2025 teacher requirements meaning I needed another 6 university maths credits. If the maths credits were not finished by the start of school, then my boss would have to teach my mathematics class. No pressure, right? I ended up finding a workshop style, self-paced professional development site that partnered with a university in California. Happily, my 4.0 is still intact and I am certified to teach my own maths next year. My first week back in Norway was largely spent studying and writing papers. Mind you, I am also in charge of preparing documents, policies, and professional development for the new school as well as advising the technology company that is developing our new learning and school management program. The fact that I am in a place that I can actually attend to my blog again, makes me giddy. But work is always the easy part of the challenges for me. When I traveled back to family and friends, nearly everyone's first or second statement was, "So tell me about NBF." I spent many hours telling how we met and how much he means to me. The whole time in the back of my mind, I knew that I needed to make a big decision when I came back to Norway. Was I going to move in with NBF or find my own apartment closer to work? We had had serious conversations about it before I left. One time I asked him what he was going to lose if I moved in, and his answer of nothing as never wavered. I find his certainty unnerving. Meanwhile, my mind was buzzing thinking about my independence, my big windows, and my furniture. I was hung up on moving to HIS house and trying to squeeze my things into his life. What would his kids think? When I told him that I wouldn't be able to just stay naked for breakfast if that was how I felt, he told me, "Nellie, you realize my kids have seen a naked woman before, right?" FFS! He has an answer for all of it. As a matter of fact, before he even asked me to move in he had spoken with his kids. I mean, of course he had, hadn't I spoken with my own adult children to see their position? It makes sense on many practical reasons to move in. After all, I was already spending most weekends and holidays from school there. The bonus kids like me and my cookies. Actually, I shouldn't be so glib. When the oldest bonus kid first saw me upon my return, he exclaimed, "NELLIE" and ran in to hug me. NGL, I teared up a little. Financially, combining incomes to run one household is a no brainer. I do love the scenery and the area as well. It is a rural area with farms that reminds me of Kansas while still being distinctly Norway. In the end, after talking with my "trusted advisors" and approaching it from many angles, the only thing I could find to hang onto was that I would need to get my license and buy a car. And yes, you read that right. I was overthinking and actively searching for "the dealbreaker". This would allow me to minimize my own worry and doubt as secondary reasons instead of primary reasons for not moving in. I really do love this man, and he is ridiculously good for me. I won't get into all the personal work I am doing to feel worthy in this relationship, but I will tell you that it is getting much easier. That said, I actually like not having to rely on a car. It is one of my favorite things about living here. Nonetheless, I am in a different part of Norway now, and fact of the matter is, whether I moved in with NBF or not, I would most likely need a car. Because of the way the train lines run, traveling from Jessheim (the school location) to Jaren (NBF) would mean traveling through Oslo and a trip nearly as long as the trip from Sarpsborg to Jaren. Sure, I found apartments two blocks from work, very unhealthy and tossed from the search, but the household shopping would not be near as accessible as in Sarpsborg. In the end, I did what I have done so many times since I have been in Norway. I jumped. I said yes to life and decided I would rather have the experience than look back with regret for missing one of the best things to happen to me. I made the final decision on my plane ride home, but when I saw his face when I came out of the airport gate, I knew I was really and truly home. How I had missed this man and so much about him and us while I was gone. On our way home from the airport, we were chatting about his new job opportunity. He works in the same city as my new school, but he has home office most days. If he were to get the new position, it would mean he would need to make adjustments including losing his work vehicle. He was talking about his old car, Esther, and how she won't handle so much commuting. He talked possibilities and was his usual optimistic self. Then I blurted out, "Maybe I can buy a car." Not fully understanding what I had meant, he said, "yeah, but your car in Jessheim doesn't get me to work." By the end of this day, not only had we been reunited after a long month apart and made plans for me to move in, but he received the call that he would indeed be offered the new position meaning he would need to travel to Jessheim daily.
Now we are down to the business of adjusting to life together. All of my suitcases and boxes from the states have arrived. I have sorted through most of my things, and we have even made a trip to Sarpsborg to get more of it. Surprisingly, to only me, there is space here for me and all my things. We have a plan for the closet so it doesn't feel like so much wasted space, and I am much more comfortable moving things around the house. The work of sorting through my things and organizing them has been as stressful as every time before. I want to have everything done yesterday. NBF, of course, has a completely relaxed attitude. The mess and clutter doesn't even phase him. Somedays, I am irrationally irritated with his ability to just roll with every fucking thing but further infuriated with my inability to let go of my need to plan and prepare and simply roll along with him. This is simply one example that illustrates the balance we bring to each other. Already we have established some routines, been able to enjoy each others' company, taken a day hike to a waterfall, attended a welcome home/happy summer party, and begun making more decisions together. So for the rest of the summer, I am going to soak up these new experiences and continue to rein in my overthinking brain. I know that it will not all be fairy tales and smooth sailing, after all, I am all too familiar with what I am wrestling inside. This time, though, I am much more prepared. And now, I have an ally that reminds me how much I deserve this and how strong and resilient I am. The excitement for this upcoming year is palpable. I say year as a teacher, speaking school year of course, but there is so much more coming. Not only am I starting a new job, but I am living with people again after so many years on my own. In a couple of weeks, we will take another motorcycle vacation around Norway. Life is good. Recently I was asked, "Did you come here for Tony?" I answered, "No. I came here to teach." Now I realize, my answer really should have been and moving forward will be, "I did, but I just didn't know it at the time."
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Nellie HillJust a woman leaping outside her comfort zone and telling the tale. Archives
April 2024
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